Growing weed ….

 Tommy O’Neal ain’t the only Fenotee with a green thumb . Cousin “Chase a tiller ” is quiet the horticulturalist himself ..

  In the words of a successful farmer , Uncle Ray …. “Keep it flat boys …so you can brush-hog the whole family garden when the weeds overtake you “..

   I can’t readily identify this particular strain of weeds , but my hat’s off to the Chaser …he’s really got a nice stand !

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Going Green ….Equine Land-Mines …

   Stamp-licker is M.I.A….he survived the perils of Viet Nam in the 82nd Airborne , thirty years as a postal employee slave , and thirty years under the thumb of the original St. Francis , but yesterday’s Convee parade through the “bowels” of down-town Bowie finished him off .

  He was faced with an insurmountable dilemma while piloting a borrowed convee Caddy along the common parade route … He could either break ranks of the orchestrated convoy , or drive directly through random piles of horse and mule excrement ..( road-apples ). neither of which is an acceptable event in the eyes of a die-hard perfectionist ..

   Drawing scorn from fellow drivers for swerving in his lane is not an option for the military discipline instilled in the war-time veteran … however , driving a spotless tire through steaming piles of road-apples is equally unacceptable behavior for the starch and polish of perpetual postal pencil pusher…

  apparently the stress of the mule-dung obstacle course was just too nerve-racking for the former stamp-licker … he was reluctantly driven to strong drink !..

  The public humiliation of driving a car with fresh guacamole on all four wheels has driven the stamp-licker underground … rather than withstand the unfortunate embarrassment of unavoidable tracks through the green stuff , Baccus has gone M.I.A. …how humiliating !

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Farming Fenotee Style …

 Somehow Tom has managed to crash a steadily gaining nation-wide corn-futures market , with only twenty thousand ears of free-corn .. He’s flooded the second-Monday market along with Armstrong’s and Brookshires produce section..national corn prices have taken a deep dive…

  Nothing remains of the gargantuan trailer load of corn but a few scattered shucks and tassels on the front steps of the Prime-Cut ..Throngs of unsolicited moochers clogged the parking lot to gorge their grocery sacks on Tom’s hybrid hog-feed..

   Tom’s CPA is scratching his head at the prospective losses incurred from a bumper crop ….knowing that next year Tom will surely plant eight rows rather than four , to meet the deep-freeze demands of Montague County Moochers … It was good !

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Riding in Style …

Don’t pay the ransom ..I’ve escaped …

   Perhaps the readers of this often ingenious blog feel slightly neglected as of late .. The only thing more disappointing than a routine bad blog is no blog ..but you see I’ve been extremely preoccupied for the last few days..and I apologise for the political silence …

 My excuse , the dog ate my homework !

   Number one borrowed granny’s truck to haul some discount dinning suit he had stolen from an Air Force  jet-jockey on E-bay .. during that impromptu transport of the almost stolen goods , the rear door electric window on granny’s truck unexpectedly went south , and stayed there.. it fell into a bottomless pit often spoken of in the old testament , where there was wailing and gnashing of gears ..

 I made an appointment for repair at Patterson’s of Bowie on Thursday morning…. two hundred and seventy-nine dollars later they had the window rolled up along with the contents of my pocket-book….They called Friday morning with the news that our truck was ready to roll..

  We arrived at Patterson’s mid morning and left the dealership Friday afternoon in a totally different vehicle .. Granny traded the white one for a sandy one …with Serious radio ..and blue tooth capabilities   

    It’s all greek to me.. The radio is serious ? and has a blue tooth?  I suppose it’s am/fm with Rush Limbaugh and T.D. Jakes , playing the blues …but she’s excited ….

  We met a young man , a fellow Goldburg Bear named Colby ….he is an extremely cordial  fellow with an uncanny flair for selling cars …If you’re thinking of changing rides , I recommend you see Colby at Patterson’s Jeep Ford Chrysler Dodge Studebaker-Whippet Dealership in Bowie …

   You’ll like this gentle Bear..and you’ll go home in a new ride if you half-way try …

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Garlic Breath …

 John Card-well and I missed the golden opportunity to upgrade our community status last night , as four car-loads of Italians and Square-Heads ventured to Krum Texas to savor the entrée s at the new Italian Restaurant just west of the four-way-stop..

  Rave reviews from raving Red-necks may not be the prime referral in your eyes , but in these here parts of Montague County it carries weight .. Ed loved the Garlic-Knots , but then he’ll eat garlic on Twinkies ..

  Herky Biffles , Becky Holland , Ogles and Henleys , and a balance of Italians including Kattle-Kate and Bill Bill , all bearing bottles of wine and ravenous appetites for Sicilian cuisine, traveled to Denton County for the evening meal…They all ate like Ed was buying , cause eventually he did …or so he said …

  Two Krumite bus-boys carried the empty wine-bottles to the recycler , in a pick-up truck . Becky was Tom’s designated driver ..

   He said she never ran off the road once on the way home , but how would he know ?

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Ex Patriot ….expatriate

 Aaron Hernandez’s downfall can be laid at the feet of a consistently coddled male ego.. the arrogant millionaire had no idea he could be caught or punished for murdering a friend that had disrespected him ..after all , he plays for the New England Patriots …. He still has no clue …..What a waste !

 His professional experience as a tight-end will serve him well in prison ..

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Using the “C” word …

    Zimmerman was identified as a “creepy-ass cracker” in court today by Travon’s witness , but Paula Deen was excoriated for using the “N” word twenty years ago .. equal justice under affirmative action !

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Truck-Load Sale

Calloused Corn-pickers have loaded a goose-neck trailer with sweet “Roastin ears”  from Tom’s four-row harvest down Nobile rd , and they’re far from being through .

  Starting tonight … any dinning customer of Prime Cut Steakhouse needs to bring a grocery sack for a dozen Free ears of   “sweet corn ” to go .

   Non dinning customer, ( drunks ), are entitled to purchase these tasty morsels for a nominal fee , to be determined by Tom’s grandson , Lyndon O’Neal …… Tom’s willing to barter for Crown ..

   Shucks …this is the best worm-free sweet corn this side of  Green Giant’s crib…

Bob Brasher ( and his gaggle of off-spring dependents ) can fill the deep-freeze with Tom’s best Italian corn tonight…

    also suitable for making Mexican corn-pone or corn relish , corn whiskey …corn-dogs , corn bread , …corn salad …corn flakes… or shuck the ears for Tamale wraps.. anyone born before 1950 knows what the cobs were traditionally used for …

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D.O.M.A. is dead ….

 The Supreme Court has ruled in favor of destroying the family unit ..what a glorious day… California’s opposition voters have finally been silenced by the U.S. Supreme Court.. 

 America has thumbed it’s nose at the Biblical teachings of God almighty .. I predict nothing but strength , prosperity , and marital bliss as a consequence of the politically correct wisdom of this day …

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Welcome to Europe ….

An Important Message From Texas Attorney General

 

   

Your Liberty — as a United States citizen — was weakened and threatened yesterday when the Obama Administration helped the United Nations pass the Arms Trade Treaty.  Immediately after this disappointing vote, I wrote a letter to President Obama urging him not to sign the treaty.  If the President signs the treaty allowing the UN to be involved in regulating firearms in the U.S., Texas will lead the charge to have the treaty overturned in court as a violation of the U.S. Constitution.  I need your support.  Please help us get the word out by referring 3 of your friends right now, and forwarding this email to 5 of your friends.  Together, we can make a difference.  America is exceptional in part because our Constitution safeguards our individual liberties – including the right to keep and bear arms enshrined in the Second Amendment.  The new UN treaty threatens your rights:

• it doesn’t recognize the individual right to keep and bear arms or the fundamental right to defend yourself, your family, or your property;

• it empowers a new UN bureaucracy focused on firearms restrictions that will be run by international bureaucrats who are not accountable to the people of the United States.

• it could impose firearm registration requirements that may empower international authorities to get information about American citizens and businesses.

This UN treaty does more than trample Second Amendment rights.  It also threatens to erode all liberties guaranteed to Americans in the Constitution by giving the UN power to govern our lives.  Please refer 3 of your friends today and forward this important message to 5 of your friends right now.  Your voice must be heard on this issue.  When the Constitution says, “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” it means no one—including the UN—can infringe upon that right.  UN treaties do not trump the Constitution.  And with your help, we will make that message clear to President Obama and this administration.

Sincerely,

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