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Archive for August, 2010

Corporate news …

  If you attempted to pay your water-bill yesterday in Montague , you probably found Ed conducting business from his pickup truck in the driveway …. Four years ago he contracted me to replace the main entry on the house that Chock built … I replaced the door-frame , dead-bolt , door and all trim … But yesterday the door that Ed personally furnished for my renovation project failed to open… no , it refused to open… after kicking and cussing for half the morning  and attempted drill invasion  , Ed resorted to a chisel and hammer to gain entry to his own corporate office..

 Immediately he called to report the failure and insisted it be covered by warranty … four years after the fact he was blaming my faulty installation that should be repaired for free under some bogus warranty assumption.. My first thoughts were most likely his secretary had the locks changed for relative peace and quiet in the work-place ..

  Obvious , violent hack-marks and aggressive battle scars voided any hope of warranty coverage recovery … it’s in the fine print Ed , way down close to the bottom … If the door is spontaneously attacked by a bald rotund Italian terrorists wielding a claw-hammer and chisel on Monday , all previous obligations of warranty on workmanship or DISCOUNT merchandise are considered null and void … sour Italian grapes !

   And what’s up with that sixty-second spot on KBAN radio … advertising the fact that Legend bank has devised a new checking account policy… They mysteriously chose to name this new approach to personal banking ,  the ( Ultimate Checking ) plan …. Well , pardon me !   The last time I entered the Ultimate store in Montague , they had a large conspicuous sign plastered on both doors… (Sorry we no longer accept checks…) ……. So I assume Legends new ultimate checking policy has an underlying subliminal message …  Don’t write one ! and you won’t be refused at the check-out !  Good plan ….Hoot !

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Mayoral candidates …

  I was privileged to speak with Nocona’s honorable Mayor at a high-level summit meeting on Sunday , held in the comfortable coffee-drinkers accommodations at the 82 truck-stop.. He was extremely pleased to hear of Edwards much deserved winning of the Wildfire Steak cook-off …

  The Mayor went on to explained how Ed had been an attentive student of his for several years … a secretive  understudy of superior cooking techniques learned at Mooches Bar-B Que in Nocona Texas … Ed’s not the first student of the Mayor to excel in culinary conquests…Tommy O’neal polished his cooking skills at the same academy  , along with Little Danny and Tucker … all the prominent area smoker-chefs learned their trade from the Mayor , including late-bloomer Ricky Lewis …

  Mooch finds it extremely rewarding to see his students excell….even when such students fail to publicly recognize the source of their valuable skills …

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  Ray Walker’s funeral service is slated for 10 A.M. Saturday , Sept. 4th , at the First Baptist Church   (511 Cooke St. ) in Nocona Texas … Family visitation will be on Friday evening , Sept. 3 rd @ 6:30 P.M. , at Jean’s Bible Class …(106 Main street).   burial following his memorial service on Saturday at Montague cemetery …

   First Baptist Church…940-825-3885

   Jeans Bible Class…940-825-3432

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Evansville Ego

 Nuther-brother called to report .. They planned to leave the Indiana car-show around ten this morning , but while breaking camp , an event official discouraged their departure… Seems outa four-thousand-four-hundred registered participants , Nuther-Brother’s Model A Coupe had been chosen to enter the winner’s circle at two p.m….. He won best Hot-Rod … at a national show … out of 4,400 cars…what are the odds ?…unbelievable !!    ….It’s comparable to Ed winning best steak at Wild-Fire…

  Needless to say , they delayed their departure til after the awards ceremony , then headed home …. with the enormous trophy tied on top of his car like a gutted Bull-Elk …

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  Surely Mark Murphy has reached the apex of his multi talented potential … There must be some unforseen limit to his list of God-given talents…. Not only is he the most sought-after auctioneer in Texoma , but has musical skills usually reserved for exhibition in Nashville …. He’s an accomplished guitar picker ,  great singer , successful song-writer , then today as a Bible class musical guest , surrounded by several members of his original band , I also learned he’s versatile … He picked the banjo like Ralph Stanley… (with a touch of arthritis…)

  Granted my level of musical talent hardly qualifies me as professional critic , but I’m duly impressed….eternally jealous .. I suppose he also plays the Mandolin and the Dobro , maybe the steel or the fiddle … It just ain’t fair …. at 63 I’m still trying to master the spoons …

  Seriously… If you were NOT nestled in the arm-chairs at Bible Class this morning , you missed a toe-tappin , finger snappin , good Gospel singin … Thirty minutes of Rickey Scaggs nemesis , Mark Murphy…free mini-concert … It was awesome !

  Then Tommy Lamascus delivered a clear concise message in his typical relaxed style … by the way … he plays guitar…banjo..sings and writes songs in much the same talented level as Murphy …. I left for home feeling totally inadequate and skill-less …

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T&A..Two

 Just talked to the Nuther-Brother and the Texas cartel in Evansville Indiana .. nestled under the giant Hickory tree shade in the Evansville 4-H park … Five Thousand antique cars on display …The thousand mile voyage was mechanically uneventful , all six vehicles in the Texas convoy performed like Henry Ford planned it …

    Their close proximity to the goat-barn reminded them temporarily of home , but no visual sign of Wylie Roberts or Cleo….locals are cordial and temperatures are moderate ..Like Shrine-Fest patrons or Wild-fire cookers , they’re having a blast … only with antique cars !

  Incidentally , they met the Tommy O’neal of street-rods … Some spend-thrift hot-rodder from Jonesboro Arkansas … They’ll detour by his house on the way home tomorrow , for a free steak feed and overnight encampment ..at the JONESBORO HILTON , a subsidiary branch of Tommy O’Neal ….

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  Society’s elitist are quick to hang the phobia description on anyone opposing their view… Homo-phobic…. Islam-a-phobic … inaccurate descriptions intended to degrade and demean the opinions of others …

  Webster defines phobia as an irrational , abnormal , persistent fear or desire to avoid contact with a particular item , place , or person ,..

   Heads up … I’m not afraid of queers or muslims …don’t think my attitude towards them is overwhelmingly abnormal … but I do harbor a desire to avoid contact.. and it is persistent .. I don’t invite homosexuals or Muslim clerics into the confines of my home for dinner… I don’t shop at businesses owned or operated by either …don’t patronize places known to cater to men wearing towels or leatards …

  If that makes me Homophobic or Islamaphobic in the eyes of my peers… then so be it … but I choose to regard it as profound DISLIKE  rather than a documented phobia …

  Dislike is defined as follows….. to avoid with distaste or aversion… to regard with extreme displeasure …

That sums up nicely my feelings for queers and muslim extremists ….distaste and aversion..extreme displeasure… maybe I just have definition-phobia …or perverted-sex phobia , or plastic explosives phobia …dismemberment phobia …

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