panic-stricken poultry

      i’m sitting on the front porch last monday , reflecting on the peace and serenity of the evening sunset…. big orange ball falling slowly behind the stately oaks surrounding my solitary country home….. not a leaf stirring , just perfect silence when i heard the distant distinctive sound of an approaching aircraft…

    you guessed it… grumpy was on a mission… he came in low and loud , just above the trees… smashing the silence and the peace of the moment….

    that world war two military reject could use a new muffler…. chickens scattered at the sound… headed for security and seclusion of the hen house… an all out foot-race with wings flappin… they’re plainly more upset than chicken little… the sky’s fallin !!!

    grumpy no more than clears the house , when i realize there’s a second wave coming…. it’s chipper in that inverted sunbeam mixer… he’s chasing grumpy like the red-baron… right over my tranquil dwelling… big boys with equally big toys scattering mahem and dried leaves in their wake…

   roxanne and rosemary may not lay another egg for a week… their nerves are shot… narrowly escaping what surely must appear to be the largest and loudest chicken-hawk of all times…

     i’ve got new neighbors  from the city…. they bought here because of the seclusion and escape from city sounds… only to find they’re situated square in the flight pattern of several airborne seniors with nothing better to do than terrorize the peaceful neighborhood on an almost daily basis………  they won’t be here long !!!

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well dressed mechanic

   after a tough day at the office yesterday , i headed home , through down-town…. while passing the office of real-estate tycoon j.j. , i couldn’t help noticing a rather odd sight… right there in the drive-way in front of j.j.’s  front door…

   i saw what appeared to be some guy wiring up a muffler , or changing out a u-joint on one of those tall pick-ups.. all i could see was a pair of full-quill ostrich boots sticking out from under a four-wheel drive truck…   i thought that’s odd….. appears j.j. is helping some unfortunate soul repair his pickup while wearing his sunday clothes…real-estate sales must be pretty slow….

     however, i got the rest of the story over coffee this morning… paul harvey !!  seems j.j.had been showing some ranch-land to a prospective buyer…. gas being nearly three dollars , j.j. had agreed to take the prospects truck… a big red four-wheel-drive rig with a chrome step for gaining altitude for short passengers…

    while exiting the truck…. his foot slipped off the chrome step… he went down like the titanic… crashed to the asphalt like a sac of potatoes… then rolled under the big rig with only his feet sticking out…. that’s when i passed and thought he was retreiving a roll of hog-wire from off the drive-shaft….

   all that rodeo bronc-bustin experience he had back on the farm at park-springs paid off in spades….. he knew how to tuck and roll… avoid serious injury. !!

    he landed on that new bionic shoulder…. just two weeks out of surgery… but the only thing wounded was his pride !!!

    if any of you guys see him today , don’t forget to mention his road-side mechanicing incident…. he’ll get embarrassed all over again… maybe start swearing !!!   could even mention the accurate reporting skills of the poison pen. !!

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stove pipe stetson

   while in the fort worth stockyards this past week the motorhome boys decided to do some window shopping for new felt hats… they made all the specialty men’s stores… looking at silver bellies with four inch brims…

    for those unfamiliar with the grading system on quality felts , the more X’s the higher the quality…. three X , ten X, and so forth….

   two shirts had settled on a thirty X beaver.. silver belly- three and a half inch brim…. 1,700.00.. it’s not cheap but it’s reasonable… the graham banker picked one of equal quality… ed down-sized a little , but not much..!!

    then came chippers time to spring…. he was looking on the lower shelves….. had to bend over just to get a glimpse of the democratic head-gear there on the bottom shelf… he shopped for thirty minutes before finding a dust covered box under several other boxes, on the bottom shelf , against the back wall…

    he drug the dusty box out into the light… looked over the contents… then proudly announced ” this is the one for me”..

   it was a two-X brown belly possum… vintage 1974…mooch fenotee crease…. marked for clearance…. forty dollars plus tax….size seven and seven-eighths…with a five inch brim… he tried it on.. looked like a short version of charley daniels , but it was new to him !

    he pulled out a roll like uncle tony, peeled off two twentys and paid for the wild-west umbrella with cash… typical chipper fashion….  throwed his old windmill cap in the trash as he walked out on the side-walk… proud as a peacock… looking like hoss cartwright standing in a ditch….

   he could cut a two inch hole in the side of that stove pipe and provide a nesting place for the endangered spotted-owl……. owl hoot or hoot gibson , what was he thinking ?

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debutante dogs

  it’s official …. all supper club members and guests are cordially invited to bring their canine family members to the state park next sunday evening for a get acquainted tail-sniffing extravaganza…

   i’ll be bringing my cross-bred  leg-hugging spaniel… ed can bring his adopted strays….hootie’s fat-dog and the shell-shockers cast away….

  henley’s got a couple of pot-lickers that would love to ride over in the back seat of the mustang !!!

   it’ll be the perfect opportunity for tom to overcome his harbored hatred for mischievous muts and feel more at ease in the company of clifford or clinton or whatever his name is…that whippet and snoopy dog look alike…that continuously steal the effections of the strawberry roan….

   tom’s got to get past the fact that clifford ate bill-bill’s catfish stink bait then marked the table where supper was being served…or he has little to no chance of finding a permanent mate from the girls that currently frequent the state park…

    let by-gones be by-gones tom….. start over with a clean doggie slate… past short- comings and transgressions aside…..

    the roan loves those yard-decorating dogs more than life itself… don’t ask her to choose !!!  it would be a public embarrassment if she chose two lap-dogs over a self-made millionaire….

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court reporter

   i’m currently on jury duty at the county courthouse…. perry mason type stuff…. can’t talk about it… but i did see the colonel in the courtroom…. could be a military tribunal….. maybe he invaded the chipper’s air space… time will tell… i’ve got my lap-top under a heavy cloak !! stay tuned for further reports…i think i got a glimpse of judge-judy smoking a cigarette in the judge’s chamber…

  gotta go……… poison pen

***** after lunch

     what i thought was judge judy turned out to be odelia walker searching for the public restroom…..bitter disappointment !!

     the good judge dismissed us til next tuesday , when we continue this saga of jury selection…. i’m eternally greatful !!! thought surely they were gonna make me swear that oath to tell he truth… the whole truth… e.t.c.

     that just goes totally against the grain of all this blog site stands for….. ( never let the truth stand between me and a great story )  boy-scout tactics like that could bring an untimely demise to the poison pen…

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chicks wanted

  sunday night supper club was like a box of chocolates…. assorted box of multi-flavors…. tom had no less than four lady friends in attendance..including his ex-wife  who has volunteered to help decorate the fo-painted walls…..

    the roan brought a #2 wash-tub full of green chili… which wasn’t actually green , or wasn’t actually chili… it was similar to a cross between a pot-roast and beef stew , but quite tasty… served with home made tortillas hot off the grill…

    there was another young lady from bellvue washington…. another past resident that put many miles between her and montague at a tender age… kody kilcrease… baby sister to karen and kyle… i think maybe tom chased her around the courthouse square a few times back in highschool… she out ran him all the way to the county line , where tom was forced to turn back……

   the forth and most mysterious of the lady guests was more discrete than the rest… appeared oblivious to tom and his mating ritual…

    what a tangled web he weaves… four prospects on location and he’s still taking chick-calls from other candidates applying for permanent residence on the third floor..

   any other interested eligible ladies out there can call tom at the office….. leave a voice message revealing vital statistics and motivational character traits…. the stud-muffin will return your call as soon as oil prices go to an even hundred….

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ranger-danger

   i just found out yesterday that the park ranger had a bad four wheeler wreck last tuesday…..out at the state park….  he’s in the nocona hospital with a broken shoulder and collar bone… both ear drums were burst in the wreck as well..  

    according to chipper….. he was smoking a cigarette while riding (d.w.s.)… got ash and smoke in his eye , while traveling at a high rate of speed.. lost control….. crashed out..  fortunately his cigarette pack was thrown clear of the wreckage.. unhurt !!!

    all the motor home boys have been in ft. worth for the weekend… red stegall and chuck wagon cooking was the topic…. ed and the boys were parked right next to the chuckwagon livery-stable…. smellin mule manure and dutch-oven biscuits…listening to red stegall’s music… chipper used to play the banjo in stegall’s band years ago… back before his drinking problem  !!

      their republican banker friend from graham had to furnish all the groceries plus do the cooking and cleanup for the montague moochers….they’re due back today in time for the free-feed at bible class and a big dose of the roan’s green chili tonight….

    i tried some of that green chili one time … got it in a can from (mel-the-smell)…. . it was on his clearance table , several months out of date… hope hers is better than that was…. it took a lot of ketchup to push that stuff down !!

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locker-room legacy

  anyone who ever played high-school sports can vividly remember the stinch of the boy’s locker room… we’re talkin distinctive…. recognizable … unique ….pungent aroma of massive amounts of sweat soaked laundry….

   they could lead you blindfolded into the field house locker room with the lights out… you knew immediately where you were !!

   recent news stories concerning the dreaded mrsa ( multiple rancid straps aroma ) staph infection fail to mention the birth place of such an antibiotic resistant monster…. it was right here in the bowie field house..bacteria created in the damp lockers of the varsity players has evolved for forty years in the floor drains and p-traps to become the debilitating and sometimes fatal strain it is today..

    area schools have temporarily closed their facilities to disinfect and clean all surfaces with bleach or other powerful cleansers….in an effort to curb this mutating staphylocca…(not to be confused with jock-itch…..) which can be equally devastating to naive adolescent..

    while the goldburg bears have not had a problem with staph bacteria… they do have a similar but unrelated problem…. a staff infection…. staph vs. staff… thought to be introduced a couple of years ago from the nocona field house….

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sanger sorties

     it’s friday again…. time for the rabbits to face sanger in a district game on home turf…. we could be in trouble except for the fact that the colonel has been flying reconnaissance missions over the sanger practice field… mach two surveillance at low altitude..

   aerial photos reveal their secret offensive play…( statue of liberty)  they’ve been working on it all week… but thanks to the colonel and his football sorties, we’ll be ready….

   could this be considered federal pork ?? using a air-force jet and taxpayer fuel to gain an unfair advantage over the high-school football competition ?… i think not !! the colonel is gonna be wasting fuel anyway… flying all over north texas and southern oklahoma just logging hours and clogging the flight pattern to bowie international airport..   besides if football is not considered all out war, it certainly should be…

    if bill belachec can use a camera to steal plays from the opposing team….why can’t we ?   what’s good for the goose is also good for the rabbits….

    i’m thinking the colonel is justified in his sense of duty to the united states air force and the bowie  jackrabbits… this will surely improve his current standings in the booster club and make him the topic of conversation at willy’s dinner table..

  **** it’s two o’clock friday afternoon… one of those airforce training jets out of sheppard just narrowly missed hitting the t.v. antenna at the water-plant…. sounded like a train derail directly overhead… i’m thinkin it was the colonel or one of his partners in crime , returning from another sorty down at sanger…..

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fernandez friday

   the bowie mayor and council have proclaimed friday as rebecca fernandez day…. as a tribute to her short tenure of employment and the two state awards the library acheived during her time as director…

   that’s all well and good…. but what about having a kenneth polk day ,  lynetta slayton day,  clyde johnson day , or a charlie richardson day for all their many years of dedicated service … i don’t actually know if they got any state awards during their tenure…. but they should have !!

   in my humble opinion , their dedication to the city infrastructure far exceeds any state award that has been earned at the library…

    what about a day named to honor art ferguson’s son.. jonathon ? he has a couple of awards from the federal government… they’re called purple hearts.. for the bullets taken while fighting for our freedom, in the middle east… he still suffers daily for the service he bravely provided for all of us ….what about declairing a day to honor him ?

      what about a mrs. j.k. brite day or a david white day… they’ve spent many dedicated hours providing an invaluable service to the citizens of bowie as volunteers in all sorts of community activities… as permanent residents…

      i don’t mean to sound ungrateful for mrs. fernandez time as a citizen and library director for the city of bowie… but i’m thinking there’s not enough days in the week to honor all the life-long citizens who deserve the same recognition….

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