Archive for June, 2012

Breakfast toast ….

 No Moochers Breakfast tomorrow… Ed is worn out from a full day at the windmill lot , followed closely by a hot ride thru the Jim Bowie Day’s Rodeo Parade in a convoy of 76 Caddy rag-tops …excessive drinking exacerbates de-hydration… chauffeuring queen contestants brings on a case of the sweats …100 degree temperatures only add to the masonic misery …he’s toast !


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Reconditioned A/C ….

To the untrained eye this may first appear to be a typical farm truck , but to the keen eye of an anonymous contributor , this is a red-neck family Lemo…. Note the 110 volt air/conditioner in the back window , and the portable generator perched in the pick-up bed ,  providing luxurious comfort for the nameless family of an innovative Montague red-neck …

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Plum Sweet …..

   I had another unexpected visit from the ” Plum Princess ” yesterday …She appeared in cloud of fairy dust from the west , bearing gifts of exquisite plumb jelly in a checkered crystal vase , with an equally delicate innocent smile , then vanished in her sparkling horseless carriage to the south ..

   Except for the lingering jar of delightful plum nectar, her momentary appearance could just as easily been a heat related mirage or fairy-tale fantasy !..

    The ever illusive and unpredictable Plum Princess has brightened another day in Montague !

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No Kidding !

 Nocona has been inundated with propaganda leaflets much like the military air-drops over Pakistan … hundreds of computer generated flyers spreading scandalous rumors pertaining to a particular well-intentioned scribe have surfaced in multiple locations around town …

  Jerry Sandusky is a celibate choir-boy compared to these printed allegations …apparently a recent editorial has inadvertently fallen on sensitive turf ..Possibly the same agitated son-of-satan  that sent me the blistering e-mail a couple of years back ..

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Redneck CMA

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    In the past three weeks we’ve furnished seventeen families with an average of thirty-eight pounds of canned goods from Christ-Can Food Pantry …for a total distribution of 650 lbs..

  Therefore , the first order of business as a retired citizen was to restock the scattered shelves at the pantry yesterday morning .. Carolyn and I grabbed the debit card and headed out to Wal-Mart to replenish the inventory…

       We were shuffling the isles gathering spinach and beans when a familiar face rounded the corner to our immediate front … He inquired why we were obviously attempting to corner the market on canned groceries ? We explained that we were buying goods for our soup-kitchen …He opened his billfold and make a modest donation towards that worthwhile end …

   Two isles over , we were again filling two carts to overflow , when a passing lady asked if we were stocking up for Armageddon … We repeated the explanation… She repeated the actions of the previous guy … opened her purse , and made a modest donation to our cause …

   Finally we were at the check-out unloading 386 pounds of canned corn to beans , when a the third contributor approached and asked … Aren’t you guys the couple giving food to the needy in Montague ?…She dug through her purse and brandished a C-note for a hearty contribution…

   Total donations freely given to the Pantry from last Saturday til check-out time ( three days )…$460.00… Total tally on four feet of Wal-Mart register tape for two rounded carts of hominy and greens….$497.00….total damage inflicted to the Christ-Can coffer , $37.00…. Sweeeeet !

  God does indeed provide for those who long to please Him …through compassionate friends and rank strangers … He supplies ! …God is good..

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Real Reason ….

Ordinarily you won’t read unsubstantiated rumors on this blog , but……there is a story circulating through the booths at the Ultimate Snack-Bar Cafe concerning reasons why the Big-Bank Banker failed to show at the party of a lifetime .. ( My lifetime ) last Friday …

  Speculations have been made and conclusions drawn … Hoot knew the Jay Goober Band was scheduled to open on stage for ” Super ” Tucker … He also knew the five point difference in interest rates between his Big Bank and First Goober National of Young County..

     Hoot wasn’t up to microscopic detailed financial interrogation from a plethora of disgruntled depositors despite free groceries and borrowed beer … It was a sound business decision that influenced his absence ….rather than the fact that a particular slum-lord has over-extended his line of credit on substandard rentals in Montague ..

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