yard art indescretion….

   i got  home today , anxious to complete the final trim work before the carpet layers arrive later this week…. i got busy laying the base and door trim down the hall at the top of the stairs… upstairs to measure.. downstairs to cut.. then back up to nail…

  during one of these multiple trips downstairs to saw a board , i noticed some strange motion in the backyard flower bed…. i busted out laughing when i recognized the situation…..”roho the rooster’s grandson”  was doing the chicken-dance around carolyn’s plastic pink flamingo…right there in the chrysanthemum’s….

  you know the dance !  where they drop one wing to ground level then skip in a tight circle around the object of their affection… this ritual continued for a couple of laps til the persistant rooster became discouraged at her frigid attitude…. non responsive….she totally ignored him !

    what a sight ! roho’s offspring making a pass at the only fowl celebrity on the farm…the world famous pink flamingo !…but like many other male species in montague county , he was undetered by her negative attitude… he leap-frogged her as best he could before moving on to more conventional hens…..he’s cocky !

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another one bit the dust !

   woody is taking early retirement from the big-bank….some say it’s to spend more time with winney… some say it’s due to the troubled economy and c.e.o. salary caps imposed by the obama administration… some say it’s because under-studies like mr.coffee two ,  hoot meekins , and that oklahoma loan officer have extended a line of credit to friends with no possible hope of ever making restitution….

   personally , i believe he never recovered fully from his impromptu attendance at grumpy and sharon’s wedding….anyone recalling that simple yet romantic ceremony may have memories of the gala event … relaxed fall evening… comfortable setting…. glowing fireplace and sweet domestic wine…

   tony and bert seated with winney and woody just a few feet from the warmth of the hearth…. sipping on long stem glasses of vintage wine , when for no apparent reason a huge explosion took place in the fireplace… smoke and embers flew onto startled guests.. it was pandemonium…

   woody , a seasoned viet-nam vet , thought he had experienced an incoming round…. a missile shot….. a flash-back to combat… he dove for the ground with total disregard for the shoulder surgery just days before…. spilled winnie’s wine in the process of seeking shelter under their center-stage table….

    when the panic subsided and order was re-established….it was sheepishly revealed that chipper had thrown several fire-crackers in the fire place while grumpy and sharon were exchanging vows…

    woody emerged from his makeshift bomb shelter , but obviously failed to find humor in the juvenile antics at the red-neck wedding…. he’s never returned to the low-budget wedding chapel to this good day ….

  banker woodal took it well … exhibited monumental restraint… i know he wanted to choke someone , or at least call in their note !  but he was a gracious guest , and un-intended victim of chipper’s warped sense of wedding entertainment….and for that i wish him well in retirement or relocation , what ever his future holds…. he and winnie are good folks and we are thankful for the time they spent in our midst….good luck !  …. is my payment past due ?

    woody’s having a retirement party today from nine til two , at the corporate headquarters…. grab goob gray and make an appearance…. free crispy creams and star-bucks from the bunn-o-matic perculator of mr. coffee number two…. give woody the proper send-off , but leave the fire-works at home….he don’t play them games !

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use your head ….

    i was anxious to try super-meg’s recipe for hog-head cheese but found it difficult in today’s modern market to purchase a hog’s head…. i asked the manager at wal-mart , he just stared in disbelief … same result at brookshires…. i called all my friends looking for a hogs-head… no one keeps them lying around anymore..

   that mexican market in gainesville had the closest thing i could find to a hogs head… they had one disassembled right there on display… tongues , ears , snoots , jowls and the tongue…. guess i could have purchased one each and reassembled the thing when i got home , but meg’s recipe failed to give instructions for a bore-hog head erector set…

  i decided to use the only available heads i could access….slaughtered fifteen grown chickens and boiled off the heads according to meg’s instructions… it was a slow process with limited results…. wiped out the better portion of the chicken herd for a pint bowl of chicken-head cheese …. then the final product tasted fowl !

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high temperatures… low budget !

 i remember only once in my lifetime when i was hotter that it was here on saturday… arguably 103 degrees…

   my junior year in high school , a conservative cousin of mine suggested a double date for a july night… we’d take the girls to the drive-in movie… a nickle-nose plan came into play….

   lean summer employment left us both with limited disposable cash.. we decided to let the girls drive the 55 pontiac through the ticket booth… we’d ride in the trunk to save cash for a burger and fries…. it was brilliant but risky…

    we stopped on a deserted street near the drive-in , popped the trunk, gave the girls meticulous instructions , then crawled inside and shut the lid….

   all was well for a few minutes… it was hot but bearable for a short time…. then we came to the harsh realization that sufficient time had passed to reach the show yet we were still obviously in motion…the girls were taking us on tour of the town in our horizontal hell-hole…

   anxiety turned to frustration as oxygen became less available… temperatures continued to climb…

    we could faintly hear feminine laughter above the rear speakers belting out “party-doll ” as we screamed and begged for mercy…

   the  dungeon / furnace continued to be our home for what seemed like an eternity , then thankfully , just prior to suffocation , the chauffeurs from hell arrived at the drive-in… they paid for two , then drove to the last hump where we were released from the oven…

  needless to say , things were less than cordial during the first feature , but we saved a couple of bucks…. nearly lost our lives in the process…

   i learned a valuable two dollar lesson that hot july night… never get in the trunk when carolyn’s got the keys…..she’ll make you suffer !

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neverland nostalgia

  chipper and beemer attended a michael jackson candle-lite vigil at the prime-cut last night… door prizes included a couple of michael jackson eight-track tapes from becky holland’s private collection and a quart of purex bleach…….complimentary ripple helped them deal with the pain…

    while wearing only one welding glove , chipper drank enough ripple to demonstrate the moon-walk for all the grieving fans … tom and ed !  …….they cried like babies while  chipper slid around the bar in reverse ….

   actually chipper was the original moon-walker you know , so named for moon mullins and uncle horace walker…. besides being a huge fan of the jackson five ,  and janet’s infamous wardrobe malfunction , he also claims kin to that other famous jackson , boudro !

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meg’s menu

   the following quirky cuisine suggestions were submitted by denton county land baron and accomplished food critic… super-meg !

 

Here’s a great orderve for the nootees’ appetizer table or at breakfast along with the famous Italian sausage..

 

Hogs Head Cheese

 

5 gallons well water                          1 clove garlic

1 whole hogshead, cleaned                2 red peppers, finely cut

5 large onions                                   1 tablespoon black pepper

Parsley and shallots                          Salt to taste

 

In a large kettle bring the water to a boil.  Add the hog’s head and boil for 3 hours.  Test with a fork to see if it can be pulled apart easily.  If not continue to boil until tender.  Remove the head from the liquid, place on a large platter and remove the bones and skin.  Shred the meat, making sure all the small parts of bone have been removed.  Return the shredded meat to the kettle.

 

 

Chop the onions, parsley, shallots, and garlic very finely.  Add to the kettle and boil for 10 minutes.  Add the red pepper, black pepper and salt.  Boil for 1 hour, stirring frequently to prevent sticking and burning.  Taste and add more seasoning if desired.  Pour into small glass bowls to serve.  Serves 6. 

 

         Recipe from O’Neal’s private collection.

 

Quick and easy (git her done)

 

Prime Cut Blackened Pig

 

1 medium to large pig                    Sauce (optional)

1 medium size house

 

Run the pig into the house.  Shut all of the doors.  Set the house on fire.  Return in 3 days with oven mitts.  Search and serve.  Service with sauce if desired.  Serves the entire nootee family.

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taylor’s troubles and triumps

  a couple of weeks back  heath taylor experienced some extensive shoulder pain while pitching in relief for kinston… he was benched for about ten days to rest… then called for another bull-pen appearance in a  regular season game.. same result… persistant pain in his throwing shoulder…

  the team trainer then sent him from north carolina to the team medical facility in cleveland , for an M.R.I.

  he made that appointment today… prognosis , torn ligament in his throwing rotater cuff . where the muscle joins the bone… corrective action , surgery,,,

  he flies back to kinston tonight… tomorrow morning , loads his humble belongings in his car and heads west for bowie….  sunday night , boards a plane at d.f.w. and returns to cleveland for a two hour surgery on monday…

  probably released on tuesday for a return flight to d.f.w. and eventually to goodyear arizona for the start of a four month rehab… another season gone for taylor….

   doctors forcast an eighty percent chance of full recovery to the pitchers mound…next season…

  taylor’s tough and God is good , we’re expecting a positive outcome and a full injury free season in 2010…..

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italian invasion…..

  fair warning to all the bowie drunkards….traveling to nocona for your favorite pay-day thirty pac this week-end could be problematic…. ya see … it’s the june  gathering of the fenoglio clan… their family reunion will cause traffic jams of monumental proportions at the four-way stop sign… them notee’s are coming from the four corners of the globe to mooch in on the montague remnant of the clan….

   golf tournament… wine tasting …swimming party…. more wine tasting… then the traditional feed bag luncheon at parish hall…and finally some lengthy wine tasting… they’ll be swarming like sweat bees in down town montague , so make your beer run to nocona today… avoid the mafia cars and body guards , go around through ring-gold…

    no wait , there’s fenotees living there too… better go through sunset and forestburg…  maybe err on the side of caution , just drink gator-aid til all the transplanted notee’s go home late sunday …. good luck !

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hook’em horns

   the texas longhorns went down in flames in omaha last night , despite another quality relief performance by brandon workman , and my backwards O.U. rally cap… auggie and the boys did texas proud but were over whelmed  by the hot bats of L.S.U.

    what about that dread-lock reliever for the tigers ?… unorthodox appearance , unusual delivery , righteously effective… the left handed football safety turned baseball outfielder , turned relief pitcher , looked like a seasoned veteran sent down from the minor leagues…. untouchable !

   thankfully , baseball season has officially closed for collegiate teams …. i can now get to bed at a descent hour , get a full night’s sleep for the demanding job that faces me daily at the water treatment facility….

   the longhorns will be a top seed again next year , maybe even a contender , provided O.U. has an off season…and L.S.U. looses half their players to the draft…………..  boomer -sooner…

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good gosh governor !

  what’s up with republican governors ?…. i  think it’s obvious whats up , i really mean what’s going on ! … twice  , in as many weeks ,  two republican governors have been caught in compromising indiscretions… first…john ensign , nevada’s republican leader , now…mark sanford , south carolina’s conservative choice…

  turns out he was not at all seeking solitude in the appalachian mountain trails , as his misinformed staff suggested…. he was in fact seeking self  satisfaction at the price of self destruction , in the arms of a forbidden woman of argentina….

  the same type of illicit behavior had little effect on bill clinton’s political career , but remember..he was the prodigal son of the democratic liberals… conservatives will be less tolerant , less sympathetic , less forgiving towards republican politicians who suffer the same temptation shortfall….

  granted… politicians are very much human… subject to the same weakness and temptations as all other levels of human frailty…but elected leaders should be held to a higher standard than the neighborhood bar tenders…or water plant operators ! ..they are officers of the public trust .. mentors to the less fortunate …representatives of american honor…

  if these elected officials are unable to righteously determine what is in their own best interest , how can they possibly judge what serves the best interest of their constituants…….

  someone other than their wives and children must suffer consequences for their unethical actions….they should both return to private life…

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