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Archive for June, 2010

Stolen Thunder….

  Sure Chipper was inducted into the DMOR..( distinguished member of regiment ) in 2003 , but I received my charter membership certificate from the George Bush Presidential Library today….. 8×10 certificate suitable for framing… I’ll hang it right beside the letter I received from him during his first term as President of the United States …..eat your heart out Chipper!

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 Each day’s headline is more depressing than the day before … threats from muslim terrorists , aggression by North Korea , arrogance from Iran , starvation and genocide in Africa , and multiple mounting crisis in our own troubled nation….

  Devastation is widespread across the eastern half of the Gulf … each tide brings job loss , foreclosure , and economic depression.. loss of natural wetlands and valuable wild-life …

  Congressmen struggle to impose the largest national debt since World War II….as unemployment hovers around ten percent… Churches are ordaining homosexual priests and clergy … same-sex marriage garners more print than moral direction or meaningful charity…..News stories tell of unspeakable crimes against defenseless children … often times by a parent or close family friends…

  But there IS profoundly heartening good-news hidden beneath all the front-page crime and corruption…hidden in plain sight… in the book that many of America’s citizens and leaders have discarded… The Holy Bible..

   God of Abraham is still on His throne … Still the King of all Kings … He’s not asleep or preoccupied … not intimidated by man or false gods….He has not given up on humanity … not oblivious to the world situation .. He’s not indifferent to wrongs committed against the defenseless… God has not changed , the world has…we have  , America has !

  God is patiently waiting for any individual or any remorse filled Nation that seeks to place their faith and trust in Him …. God is a jealous God …not sympathetic to sin or false doctrine .. but He is also the God of love and forgiveness … The God of third and fourth chances…

  He has historically been the God of America … when each day was more blessed than the preceeding day… when our nation rose to world leadership status in every aspect of life.. transportation , military , economics , sports , industry , education , freedom , charity , patriotism , morality , and on and on and on… America has been the most blessed nation in history… all blessings supplied  by God…the same God that we as a nation now seek to deny …

  Now that America has produced generations of righteous men , we collectively slip into a state of entitlement and personal greed.. lust for finance and forbidden flesh …

 My humble and simple advise … no history’s advise…and more importantly God’s eternal advise is for the lawfully elected leaders of our stagnant nation , return quickly…. directly… prayerfully…boldly …to being ONE NATION UNDER GOD .. before it is everlastingly too late …that’s sound advise for all men of all nations … God bless Israel first ,and also the Gentiles… Amen !

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I GIVE……

 Sometimes the best defense is to hunker down like a Jack-ass in a hail storm and just let life take it’s course… but that 6th Army tactic is not working too well on Noble Road…The catalogs keep flowing like B.P.’s oil-well …

  Every day for the last two years there’s five or six unsolicited mail-order catalog’s in my mail-box… EVERY DAY….The lank postman ( Hugo the snake ) is surely as tired of Chipper’s practical joke as I am…everything from support hosiery to bedroom toys to black-market guns… I’m on a world-wide mailing list ….

  While traveling the Eastern sea-board in the comforts of his mobile motel , he happened up on some promotional sales-pitch promotion-man hawking free catalog subscriptions in a yankee shopping mall …Chipper signed me up …. that was two years ago….

  Since that regrettable day I’ve received nine million assorted catalogs…. as a daily reminder how much I need to get even….but as time passes and the influx of unwanted paper continues to expand , I’m thoughtfully considering that old Montague sign of surrender.. ( Calf-Rope )..

  I’m growing weary of the daily routine … get the mail… sort Chipper’s junk ….discard it to trash …. carry the trash out to disposal …. It’s costly and time-consuming… a regular pain in the arse …

  I’m sorry Chipper for tying those dead chickens on your gate…. and spinning black-mark do-nuts on your concrete drive-way …. sorry for the boisdarc fence repair job… sorry for tempting Mary to smoke out behind the hangar…. I’m sorry for lighting up in your Japanese Hum-V …. and all the other insensitive infractions over the course of our lives…and by the way , I was NOT a party to the parachute sign or all those gigantic braziers tied on your servant’s entry gate at the air-port ….ask Henley…….what can i say Chipper ?  just make it stop !

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Vote Republican

  How’s this for documented proof that Chipper is a registered Republican… A plethora of assorted toys for his seasonal amusement …all secured behind a prison-gate entry to limit access by his slum dwelling classmates …

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Moss-Back Jumpers

   Company -B remnants of Hamburger-Hill … The guy in the suit is Three-star General Honeycutt , The puss-gutted veteran on the far right is Montague’s answer to Gen. Westmorland , Buck-Sargent ” Chipper “…. for more information on these guys go to  http://www.rakkasan.net/dmor.html    check the archives for 2003 …

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Book review….

 This morning on the traditional news program ” The Today Show ” an attractive young female guest named Dr. Julie Holland made reference to her popular book ( Week-ends in Bellevue )…. You can imagine the overwhelming shock to my wealth of literary knowledge.. all this time I had mistakenly thought Bill Hammack had penned this book…… about the adolescent exploits and sexual conquests of C.R.T. and Big-O , on the south-western boundaries of Montague county…

  Turns out it was written by Dr. Holland about the week-ends she spent in the Bellevue Hospital .. Heck I never even knew Bellevue had a hospital….must be north of the tracks !

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 I spent most of my ten-mile journey to town today thanking the Lord for the sweet morning rain and trying to decide the proper setting on my fifteen-speed windshield wipers … too fast and the window becomes dry creating that gosh-awful scraping noise… too slow and you may as well turn them off …  couldn’t determine a distinct difference between setting eleven or twelve… settings five and six left me wanting more …

  Remember when the wiper switches had two functional settings… ON and OFF … well Detroit engineers decide that was just too mechanically simple…. wipers need to be a source of constant maintainance , continually adjusting to varying amounts of precipitation.. Wipers need to demand more attention to changing weather conditions and traffic.. and located on the turn-signal stick to add to constant confusion….

   Perhaps a better solution would be to locate the wiper-control on the passenger’s side… freeing the driver to perform more meaningful tasks like texting and smoking while simultaneously providing amusement for bored juvenile passengers..

   Some older readers may remember the days of vacuum wipers …(forties and fifties )..when the source of movement was derived from a vacuum line to the intake-manifold rather than electrically powered…. The problem with this type of propellant was when you pulled in the opposing lane to pass a slow-moving truck , the sudden acceleration robbed the engine of excess vacuum… the wipers stalled just when you need them most… you went blind when you gave it the gas ….

   By the time I had settled on setting number three , I hit the right-turn signal to enter the plant …after spending copious amounts of time and energy to establish the perfect wiper setting only to accidently change the whole darn thing when  I engaged the turn-signal indicator …. what ever happened to hand signals ?…. That’s a whole nuther blog-story…

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