Coastal Caper ….

On the second day of Christmas , some stranger brought to me . Two quality round-bales of Coastal Hay , sitting beneath the tree …

Thorough investigation has miserably failed to establish collusion in the mystery surrounding the conundrum …  however , tire impressions indicate it was someone driving a dually truck…

Here is where the plot thickens….. Ed claims sole responsibility for the charitable act , though he owns no such dually truck… He now says I owe him $200 for the unscheduled delivery , plus another forty for doubting his Masonic oath of honesty… I’m throwing a flag on his BS propaganda .. Fake News..

All possible leads have been exhausted .. including my Democrat neighbors and distant kin …. leaving only the kindhearted Krauts to the East as primary suspects….

The Trio of Ace Reed Longhorn poop-producers are highly appreciative… whomever heard their balling pleas… regardless of ethnic ties .. Italian or German in nature …

Ten bonus points given for presentation … placed end-to end … near the road , where all casual guests can easily witness the Goodness of East German Square-heads….. on full display … allowing this sinking ship to stay afloat for yet another thirty-days…. Spring Sales always do the best…

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APB.. North Texas..

Has anyone sighted this conspicuous “Road Binder” traveling the backroads of Montague County.. The driver is reportedly a man of diverse lingual skills.. he’s been known to engage corner stretch-post in extended conversation about matters not commonly understood by fencing…

He may be traveling alone , or in the company of a Registered Nurse….. possibly a co-conspirator in crimes pertaining to romance .. or simply a novice cowgirl in need of rural entertainment..

 

Noteworthy is the following fact…… No Front License Plate …..could mean he’s from Oklahoma… or perhaps he’s “On the Lamb” from previous encounters with Democrats of devious desires..

If per chance , you have an artificial eye , keep one out for this Marked man .. he’s considered unarmed and extremely passive to those of the fairer sex..

 

 

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Now Playing….@ Carlita’s Cantina

Carlita’s Cantina…..home of higher prices and lower standards… always open , can til can’t ..

Musical entertainment Nightly…  Daddy sang bass , Momma sang tenor … she can hit the high notes only cause she’s thinner ….only on Spotify !!!

Fire pits to Hominy Grits…. this joint has everything except indoor plumbing ..No Cover Charge ,  blankets on request..

This may not be Luckenbach , but it’s close …. just 300 miles north… wedged between the West Fork of the Trinity and the Mighty Red River ,  We take requests ..long as it ain’t Red Dirt …. Waylon and Willy works wonders ..

 

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Fashion Statement ….

I’m sure there are novice readers out there who would have you believe the diamonds in my eyewear are cheap rhinestones… Fake News..

They are real … real indications of how low I will stoop when in transit … revelations of my spontaneous feminine tendencies … my awareness of current fashions … coupled with the need to deflect Eastern Sunrise glare on road-trips … as well as obvious disregard for traveling companions with I-phone cameras..

note the new doo ..That’s hair on top of my head… a virtual Chee-O-Pet in primary stages of cultivation …. the Christmas Mullet …

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Long Story Short…

This partisan Jack Ass should be turned out to pasture ….. No Remarks  Please ..He’s Ultra Sensitive about his shortcomings ..

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Dr. Scott’s Yard Man……

Not all Christmas stories end with a (happy ever after)… some are filled with bazar details of personal matters then end with irrelevant revelations about Zeke’s nads….. designed solely to startle Old Ladies with inherent baking skills, into buying pecans from this local liability ……

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Silent Night..

From a solitary man , with a solitary plan… I wish each one of you the peace and contentment I’ve found this Christmas Morn… read it for yourself …regardless of personal history, or wasted opportunities , or ethnic origins…or squandered riches.. John 3-16 covers all sins of all people…

paraphrased from a 72 year old memory of mine… For God so loved the world that He “gave” His only Begotten Son ……  that whosoever believes in Him, Shall Not perish , but have everlasting life…  … That , my friend , is the Good News of the Gospel right there …

coupled with the fact of No More Cantata’s for at least a year , makes for a very….

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Unsolved Mystery ..

Yesterday being such a beautiful day , it seemed a shame to spend it indoors…. That’s how this Christmas surprise began.

I meditated over the last swallow of tepid coffee left in the cup…. pondering the exact project I could accomplish to serve the dual purpose of entertainment and productive labor outdoors..

deciding on my lumber-jack skills and incessant need for firewood in the pot-bellied stove adorning the center focus of the Cantina.. I gathered required assistance to fell the grown tree that lightning had struck last Fall .. up towards the front of my massive spread..

Me and my trusty Stihl chain-saw boarded the Kawasaki mule …. on a mission to prepare for winter’s waiting affront .. surprised by the readiness of any gasoline engine that had been stored…static for months within the barn…. after only a few pulls it burst to life..

I was eager to assault the dead … spewing bark and sawdust into a cloud around me… when for some unknow reason , I noticed an unfamiliar sight from the corner of my eye ..

Two round bales of hay resting on the ground not fifteen feet from where I stood.. How could I have driven here without noticing theses huge additions to the landscape ?????

I had to stop all progress .. sit down in the waiting Mule … racking my mind for the answer to the perplexing question that had stolen my concentration … Who the Hell encroached the property without alarming either me or my vicious lap dogs…???

Who would leave two perfect Christmas gifts for my vast but unsuspecting herd of “Ace Reed Livestock”?? or the larger looming question of WHY ???

I can only assume it was one of my compassionate Square-head friends from Muenster .. perhaps Scuffy or Lloyd… both have cattle and large German Barns full of plush hay from the black-land inheritance of their parents..

Virtually no Italian came to mind… not Tom… he’s pissed about Trump , and the Cowboy loss on Sunday.. not Ed , the gift would involve too much manual labor…. I’m left in to the Christmas mystery before me..

Who… and Why.. caught my eye , while still hacking with my Stihl …  Hay , inquiring minds need to know…

 

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Mayor Pete

There’s a lot to be said about a name…. most of it unworthy of mention , but….. His first name is Peter…. and his last name is Butti-Judge… his momma knew early on something wasn’t quiet right… and he hales  from South Bend…. what the heck…

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Forecast ….Fair to Partly Cloudy ..

My birth name is NOT J.W. Shortfellow…It’s all BOGUS… anything written here should NOT be taken to the Bank … remember Staley and Hooty ??.. both of them read this stuff with the door closed…..

Embellishment is a comment ingredient on this web-site more than truth…. Do not repeat anything written here as Gospel … God help us…  most postings are under no circumstance admissible in a Court of Law…Judge Christy can attest to that….. permanently banned from NISD…. exercise extreme caution before mentioning Shortfellow at Church..

I’ve never been compared to George Washington by the most gullible readers among you….He had no political ax to grind….

Most of this trivia is fully intended as entertainment.. Mine , rather than yours … do not reference Shortfellow as a Standard Bearer of Facts … that coveted Title goes to Tracy..

One personal friend of mine once referred to me as ” The Poison Pen ‘…  , who buys his ink in 55 gallon drums….. perhaps he was one of the few who actually did “Get It”…Grumpy…

Any Confectionary Baking enthusiast found here as a “Glitch” ,  should add copious amounts of salt to the scorned mixture..

Basically … Lighten up before entry… It’s all done in fun…  chances are I stole it off FaceBook anyway..

If you’ve never been mentioned here , or been pissed about something I’ve written at 4 a.m. , consider it  a blessing….. Beware… I have selective subject matters ..skewed towards the Thin Skin ….

 

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