Archive for December, 2016

Seriously…. Ed had a surprise Birthday Party last night at the Prime Cut .. I had a personal in-vite and I forgot all about it… Dang it !

It was a gala affair , sponsored financially by local cattleman and land baron ,Little Eddie… for Ed and his anvil-head cohorts… a multi-cultural affair… a non-denominational revival of Dago’s and Krauts… a grand gathering of Square-heads and WOPified Chrome Domes…can’t believe I missed the opportunity of a life time..

Dave Flusche …Herky Biffle…and a gallery of Kraut women attended .. Bill Barnes & Passionate Polly were there for the festivities…. Galvalume foundered on windmill cake..

Ben Dover turned Seventy….without me there to prick him , but I righteously presume the Squares took up all the slack…

The nights entertainment was high-lighted with a fifteen minute video of Ed’s enlarged prostate… Wow ..that thing looked like an Alberta peach !!! …Radioactive..it even glows in the dark !!



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He’s not just playing a Country Song , he’s living it…you can tell by the expression on his face , some Chevy-drivin dude is messin with his girl…. MoPar’s about to throw caution to the wind..


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High Finance for Dummies…

Few knew, I of all people , am heavily invested in a diverse portfolio…conserving vast investments in Zion Oil and Gas stock…of Israel…. ask Ward..

I purchased a thousand shares when the NASDAQ listed it for $5.00 a share , and waited patiently for my return…but grew apprehensive when the stock plummeted to $ 2.50 a share months later…

Rather than concede defeat , upon counsel from stock guru Tommy O’Neal , I doubled down… bought another thousand shares at that price..and waited patiently for my return..but grew further apprehensive when the price dropped to $ 1.50 a share months later..

Third time…. I purchased another thousand shares at a buck fifty…and and am still waiting 5 years later..

Ward says you don’t loose , unless you sell..so I still own 3 thousand shares of Zion Oil and Gas…

All I have to show for my portfolio is a photo of me in a ten-thousand dollar cap…and a valuable lesson in the US Stock Exchange..

Zion closed today at…wait for it !..$1.37 unchanged …


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Trump seems to be experiencing great difficulty finding some ” Star” to entertain at his inauguration festivities…

News Flash… Jay Gober !!… call your fiddle playing pal from Tucumcari and have him meet you in D.C…..you remember the glazed look in his mismatched eyes ?…from the impromptu jam session at the cook shack in Turkey Texas ?…This could be your long-awaited chance at nationwide recognition..

Practice up on a few Bob Wills tunes and give Trump a call… Big Ed and the boys don’t stand a chance at this Big Gig… sing “Ida Red” on the Whitehouse steps.. I can see it now.. Curtain Call at the Inaugural Ball… featuring Jay Goober and that other goob..

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Fanatical Fan…

Baffled by Biffle… the Mean Green sports-fan extraordinaire …in full regalia at UNT..


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Birthday Boy

Ben don’t look a day over 85.. he attributes his youthful appearance to daily allotments of Maker’s Mark Whiskey with a splash of Ben Dover water….

Hundreds of jubilant Squares hosted a party for Ben today at Doc’s Bar and Feed Store in Muenster….bringing gifts that included a Jar of Limp Pickles.. and a porn flick starring Rosie O’Donnell .img_4289-birthday-boy

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Christmas is synonymous with Cooking at the Carter household…experimental culinary labs have never conceived the ingredients or the combination of such commonly introduced for blind taste test at 409..


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