Having Cake and Eating It Too…

Seriously…. Ed had a surprise Birthday Party last night at the Prime Cut .. I had a personal in-vite and I forgot all about it… Dang it !

It was a gala affair , sponsored financially by local cattleman and land baron ,Little Eddie… for Ed and his anvil-head cohorts… a multi-cultural affair… a non-denominational revival of Dago’s and Krauts… a grand gathering of Square-heads and WOPified Chrome Domes…can’t believe I missed the opportunity of a life time..

Dave Flusche …Herky Biffle…and a gallery of Kraut women attended .. Bill Barnes & Passionate Polly were there for the festivities…. Galvalume foundered on windmill cake..

Ben Dover turned Seventy….without me there to prick him , but I righteously presume the Squares took up all the slack…

The nights entertainment was high-lighted with a fifteen minute video of Ed’s enlarged prostate… Wow ..that thing looked like an Alberta peach !!! …Radioactive..it even glows in the dark !!

 

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“Bar-Room Brawl” in 2-4 Time

He’s not just playing a Country Song , he’s living it…you can tell by the expression on his face , some Chevy-drivin dude is messin with his girl…. MoPar’s about to throw caution to the wind..

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High Finance for Dummies…

Few knew, I of all people , am heavily invested in a diverse portfolio…conserving vast investments in Zion Oil and Gas stock…of Israel…. ask Ward..

I purchased a thousand shares when the NASDAQ listed it for $5.00 a share , and waited patiently for my return…but grew apprehensive when the stock plummeted to $ 2.50 a share months later…

Rather than concede defeat , upon counsel from stock guru Tommy O’Neal , I doubled down… bought another thousand shares at that price..and waited patiently for my return..but grew further apprehensive when the price dropped to $ 1.50 a share months later..

Third time…. I purchased another thousand shares at a buck fifty…and and am still waiting 5 years later..

Ward says you don’t loose , unless you sell..so I still own 3 thousand shares of Zion Oil and Gas…

All I have to show for my portfolio is a photo of me in a ten-thousand dollar cap…and a valuable lesson in the US Stock Exchange..

Zion closed today at…wait for it !..$1.37 unchanged …

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Turkey to Trump transition…

Trump seems to be experiencing great difficulty finding some ” Star” to entertain at his inauguration festivities…

News Flash… Jay Gober !!… call your fiddle playing pal from Tucumcari and have him meet you in D.C…..you remember the glazed look in his mismatched eyes ?…from the impromptu jam session at the cook shack in Turkey Texas ?…This could be your long-awaited chance at nationwide recognition..

Practice up on a few Bob Wills tunes and give Trump a call… Big Ed and the boys don’t stand a chance at this Big Gig… sing “Ida Red” on the Whitehouse steps.. I can see it now.. Curtain Call at the Inaugural Ball… featuring Jay Goober and that other goob..

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Fanatical Fan…

Baffled by Biffle… the Mean Green sports-fan extraordinaire …in full regalia at UNT..

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Birthday Boy

Ben don’t look a day over 85.. he attributes his youthful appearance to daily allotments of Maker’s Mark Whiskey with a splash of Ben Dover water….

Hundreds of jubilant Squares hosted a party for Ben today at Doc’s Bar and Feed Store in Muenster….bringing gifts that included a Jar of Limp Pickles.. and a porn flick starring Rosie O’Donnell .

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Three balls and a strike..Cheese ball , Sausage ball , and Baseball..

Christmas is synonymous with Cooking at the Carter household…experimental culinary labs have never conceived the ingredients or the combination of such commonly introduced for blind taste test at 409..

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Caged Chickens

2017 marks a new adventure for Bra-De Oil and Gas….Tom’s expanding his portfolio to expose his informal upbringing.. He’s returning to his roots laid out by Grandpa Andrew early in the last century…Tom’s trying his hand in the “Chicken Business”..

He’s found a niche for organic fowl…raised on beetles and grasshoppers …served battered and fried in boiling oil , at the Prime Cut Bar and Restaurant…

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Skin Flynt Formalities..

Many of my friends and associates think of me as a nickel nosed conservative… squeezing Abe like a over-ripe lime…but when it comes to Christmas decorations , I pull out all the stops.. making neighbor Tommy O’Neal envious of seasonal entryway adornments…

Thanks Mark and Christy for dressing up our drive….

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Mooslum Christmas

Ordinarily , I eat breakfast every day of the world at the Ultimate Breakfast Eatery , but upon my pre-dawn arrival this morning at 8:00 , I found the door bolted shut..

No long skinny blonde greeted me at the door , no 50-250’s  brewing chain-oil or serving mixed-up stuff from the grill……no hired hands puffing cigs on the stoop…no Dago’s clammering for assigned seating….what the hades ?

Looks like the Mooslum Family finally sealed the deal on Christmas Eve…Abdul coughed up the cash despite multiple liens and suits pending against the joint…despite sub-standard sewer system and pending electrical inferno…Merry Christmas from Pakistan and U S government subsidies..

No more sausage sandwiches… no crispy bacon or home-cured ham…piglets are banned from the  Mosul menu @ Sharia-Montague… Merry Mooslum Christmas from the Family..

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