Drive-Thru Dog Kennel ..

Bert Scheid installed a new window in Ed’s “Skinning Room”…. enabling the more precise removal of mass-produced Government renditions of Ben Franklin from potential victims…..let there be light… sometimes Ben Dover would mistakenly take a picture of Hamilton thinking it was Franklin …drawing wrath from Bub and his lank book-keeper …

Next on the agenda … install a Concert Quality speaker system , so he will no longer miss calls from disgruntled customers concerning the level of dog-hair strewn around the premisis  …

Bert is known locally as a “finish-carpenter “….  when Custom Water receives Bert’s bill .. that should just about finish Ed up.. from his 45-year tenure as C.E.O. of Cost’em Water Company….

Anyone supporting this pervert for President has underlying problems interpreting the Bible… ..

Call me biased , call me intolerant , call me Judgmental ,call me a Christian Bible Thumper…. that scene is pure REPULSIVE Babelonian Buttigege…..vote Trump 2020.


Big Bob awakened on Wed to a blanket of snow and ice covering his country home…. welcoming the first snow of the season , and knowing the Courthouse would be closed until 10a.m…., he instinctively decided to surprise Marianne by building a fire in his functional fireplace….

He quickly slipped on his Man-Robe and his house shoes , for a quick trip the wood pile on the back porch…. turned on the porch-light , slid open the patio door , and inadvertently stepped into the War Zone ..

No sooner than Bob reached for the waiting stick of wood , an enormous bore-coon rounded the corner at full clip , coming straight at Commissioner Bob ,,,, skidded to a halt right in front of him .. Frozen Moment in time..

Dazed by the frigid air and manly instincts to survive … they stood glaring at each other , waiting for someone to make the first move…. Regretably , Bob decided he was in charge ..

Already holding a stick of Oak firewood in his hand , Commissioner Bob imagined he had the clear advantage … not so..

He took an ill advised swipe at the coon …. the rest is but a blurr and obvious signs of struggle in the snow … Bob lost his shoes in the ensuing mayhem .. fur flew… Randy Racoon was NOT intimidated by the size of Bob’s towering frame … he mistook it for a tree , and scampered towards the top of his left leg…

Is this how my life ends Bob thought ?… scrapping with a coon on my own back porch ? as Marianne sleeps comfortably just inside ….

Who knows the reason for Randy’s impulsive rage , or Bobs reason for thinking he could take this bandit creature …… whatever the reason , the battle continued to re-arrange patio furnishings , the woodpile , and Bob’s “Hugh Hefner” robe..

Eventually… Bob won the war , and passed his Cardio Test… .. but still covers the war-wounds inflicted by Randy and his defence of the wood pile wrongly taken from Noble Road … during the fence-row thrashing of 2018..

Two Wrongs don’t make a right…. in the middle of the night … as Bob laid the Coon to rest…. in his snow-covered drawer-tails….

Rest in Peace Randy Racoon….. your diligent battle will long be remembered by Commissioner Bob … as retold at the Ultimate Store… above the roar of laughter from the gallery …

****  My name is “Big Bob “, Commissioner Precinct 4 , Montague County… I disapprove this message ..

Raising quality Rodeo Stock , exclusively for Ft. Worth Fat Stock Show Rodeo.. ..from the coveted blood-line of registered Longhorns selectively bred and raised by C&A Cattle company , and Hamilton Longhorns of Bowie ..

Fattened on Ulbigger hay , and Mule feed , these Bodacious Bovine are Show class animals …. each uniquely blended in Scuffy’s pastry dish , before being artificially bred by an unlicensed Vet …….. Spend less , use Hess ..

You can Dog her down , or buck her out the shoot… She’s Rodeo Ready … Bertha can be in your pasture by Saturday  , just leave the gate unlocked ..


Sobering Reality …

This very hat looked so stylish and strangely provocative on the head of it’s righteous owner , I arrogantly envisioned myself looking equally as attractive and seductive as she , if only I had it on my head rather than hers..

I had visions of a Gentleman Rancher…or Veteran Horseman or Investment Broker…… Instead… I look like the Town Drunk ,  Cowboy Berny Sanders , or some other mentally deranged escapee from ” The Home ”

It seriously pains me to admit it looked so good on Shelby , yet looks totally inadequate while perched atop my unusually large head ..

I’m thinking the perception of style can easily be credited to her height… perhaps if I were 12 inches taller … with better complection ,.. and 10,000 fewer miles on the chasis , …. I too could OWN this borrowed hat ..

I’m confident anyone who recognizes this Sizzling Senior , Jim Kennedy , also knows of his relevant reputation as a Party Man….

His presence at Baccus  82nd Birthday Bash is a subtle indication that the booze was free , no cover-charge , and a plethora of endless desserts …

His head-gear clearly reveals his formal training in aggressive behavior … his stance indicates his eager propensity to strong drink…. his dancing shoes show his intentions to close this place down around 9 p.m. … or when Ken shuts down the complimentary Bar …  Olly came to let his hair down.. . nothing short of Total Reckless indulgence can turn his head from adult beverages , except Blue Bell ice-cream and fresh Carrot Cake …

Sammy the Greek ….

Owner Operator of Trail’s Inn restaurant Hwy 82 East in Gainesville Texas …. purveyor of home-cooked cuisine .. Sam I Am .. He won’t SHORT change you , and you won’t leave hungry , or broke… north side of the Highway..

Fried eggs to Ribeye’s anytime … 6am til 2pm… Soups to Sandwiches … Mexican to Italian , he’s got it….Rhomers is looking at their Hold-Card …Chicken Fried American/Greek … with a slight accent on service ….

If you can understand one of his sentences , I’ll pay your tab …. Gotta love the “Greek”…

Tell him.. Carlita sent Ya…