Pocket Pistol..

Found my comfort zone at last… near perfect spiritual connection and easy on the eyes…

Beautiful creation inside , armed and dangerous on the outside…  Don’t cross Carla… she’ll pray long and hard for you at the drop of a hat… On loan from God..



Montague County Crew.. Lake of the Woods.. Ontario Canada .. July 2018..

37009907_10214875999885116_3426828524281921536_n Bill Dance

somebody’s suckin @ fishing…. but leading the charge in beer consumption ..

In the absence of local Water Magnet, Ben Dover , I was procured to temporarily manage his duties as assistant CEO of Cussed’em Water Company of Montague…while he and his cohorts wasted both time and money in pursuit of Hammerhead Sharks in Canadian waters…. I assured both Ben and Lean , I can do anything Ben does, with one Miller Lite tied behind my back…

In addition to these duties as water purveyor of a thriving megatropolis, I also assumed the task of managing his vast herd of premium beef cattle….all 4 of them..

He purchased troughs and various feeds in large quantities, to assure that proper dietary demands of Jerse and her triplet calves were met, for the numerous days he would be gone to Canada..

Oddly enough , his herd has meanwhile managed to avoid starvation , while my herd of Longhorns has virtually thrived…. gaining weight beyond the gate on Private Road 409.. Ed’s Ox is in the Ditch..

36849838_10214854204140236_402517750796255232_n Tru Texan

Red River Station

Red River Station.. the final destination… for real Texas Bar B Que .. finger licking good BBQ…. you’ll be lickin the fingers of total strangers.. it’s just that good… a short stroll off the Square in St. Jo Texas…

Cold beer and warm prices add to the ambiance of the Old Lumber Yard … where chopped beef does not mean burnt ends and fatty pieces.. It’s lovingly sliced from the heart of tender brisket.. right before your eyes…and chopped into medium sized portions .. it’s not extruded , it’s not stringy , just tender morsels of Southern heaven.. just like God intended.

Ribs are certainly worthy of mention too , whether bathed in optional sauce or summoned straight from the bone… pecan pie and peach cobbler for the sweet tooth…

Outdoor dining available.. Bands featured on week-ends… featuring an assortment of Texas beers….You can’t get more Texan than this..

If they’d had this place in 1960 , Bill Hogan and I might still be there mungst the natives..


The historic Jim Bowie Rodeo has a tradition of attracting only the best Cowboys making the circuit for a chance at another 8-second ride…

The proud product of Hamilton Longhorn Cattle Company, came with the same passion to ride as Freckles Brown , or Dick Allen , or Tuff Hedeman , or any other famous bull rider to ever taste the dirt in this very same arena..

Syd carries that Legacy forward for all the Cowboys who ever drew the roughest stock in hopes of hanging on for 8 seconds…

Living the dreams of “Kick’em Ingram” … Great job Syd Hamilton … I can smell burning wool from here….

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The unpleasantries of last Thursday evening have been rapidly resolved…thanks to the quick actions of Tommy O’Neal and his investigative team of inebriated Dagos ..
Security surveillance successfully solved the mystery of who stole the Pump-Jack…?
A packed house of defiant Squares eagerly awaited the arrival of neighboring victims at Five @ Five , to witness the proud display sitting in its righteous place at the north end of Doc’s Bar…
There it was …for all the world to see… entered as evidence to the superior skills of diversionary tactics often employed by East German Immigrants..
Several theories of how the illusive pump-jack came to rest at Doc’s were entered into evidence.. Persuasive stories were told with straight faces… alternate explanations were offered in earnest… theatrical gestures introduced into Kangaroo Court..
Until….. Tom’s surveillance video was wired up to the Lap Top projector.. the Squares grew silent for an instant , before solemn faces burst into boisterous laughter in the court room..
While Tom was basking in his apparent moment of victory , the unrelenting Squares defiantly stole his sack of to-go Chicken-Wings..right from under his nose..
He who laughs LAST , laughs LOUDEST.. Tom went to bed hungry , but with his stolen pump jack close at hand…all’s well the ends well..
Mark another “W” in the Square column.. Curtis has Hurtus…this saga ain’t over yet..

Oil Field Theft….

Seems during the unprecedented pageantry of last Thursday night , someone absconded with the center-piece of Prime Cut Bar … a larger than life operating Pump Jack positioned strategically to emphasize Tom’s envious success in the Ft.Worth Basin..

Several suspects were in attendance at the time…the caper had to be an inside job… both size and weight being prohibitive factors of impossible disguise… David Flusche being the only man present , capable of heaving the unit off the bar without assistance..

Security videos will tell the tale.. Amy was off duty at the time , but reported for work on Friday , with reports of boisterous laughter being heard from Doc’s in Muenster.

No good deed goes unpunished.. free beer lured a throng of East German immigrants to Montague County… that very beer emboldened the squares to perform grand larceny on the host of Italian hospitality..

Racial wars loom inevitable… as Scuffy and Bert Shied are excused from ethnical inclusion… they’ve both dealt with Garlic Shuckers before , hence declined attendance and free Bud-Lite beer..

Colombo is investigating the case , in the prolonged absence of Sheriff Marshal’s Chief Deputy… More details will be released on Monday , right after Five @ Five..