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Archive for August, 2011

Ollie

 The holy mooslum month of rama-rama-ding-dong has just concluded with a religious holiday marked by Moooslum’s killing each other in Syria and unlimited pork-chops at Pakistani Pig-Stand’s …for all terrorist fenatics of the world’s fastest growing collection of goat-herders and infidels. Mecca Mohammad should really be proud !

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President Obama’s uncle, arrested on a charge of drunken driving near Boston, is being held without bail on suspicion he may be in the USA illegally.

Onyango Obama, the half brother of Barack Obama, Sr., told police he would call the White House about bail, according to a police report.

From the Associated Press:

Onyango Obama was arrested last week in Framingham, about 20 miles west of Boston, after police said he made a rolling stop through a stop sign and nearly caused a cruiser to strike his sport-utility vehicle.

Police said that after being booked at the police station, Obama was asked whether he wanted to make a telephone call to arrange for bail.

“I think I will call the White House,” he stated, according to a police report filed in Framingham District Court.

Police said Obama, who’s originally from Kenya and is the half brother of the president’s late father, pleaded not guilty Friday and was being held without bail on a detainer from U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. In a court document, ICE said he had an earlier deportation or removal order.

His immigration status couldn’t immediately be confirmed, but such orders are generally reserved for people living in the country illegally.

An immigration detainer, used by ICE to identify people in jail or prison who could be deported, is a request to another law enforcement agency to notify ICE before releasing the person from custody so ICE can arrange to take over custody.

A spokesman for ICE declined to comment on Obama’s immigration case, and the White House had no comment.

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Fumigants and Fame

  Another multi-million dollar industry has ceased production in California’s  ironically entitled  ” City of Angels ” … seems the leading porn-star has tested positive for AID’s.  The repercussions of this startling news is rocking his inner circle of close friends and business associates to the core .. literally !

      The cast of gutter-snipe production professionals as well as the sleazy motel movie set has been temporarily evacuated in favor of a hazmat team from Orkin.

     The cast of two has pulled the plug on the entire industry ..countless wholesale distributors are now forced to furnish aerosol RAID and latex gloves with every purchase.

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Little but loud ….

  You see I’ve got this pint-sized yeller rooster , home raised and extremely proud.. His mother may have been frightened by a hawk back last spring , cause he has an extremely keen eye.. He can dodge a coke-bottle nine outta ten times..

   He’s an annoying little bugger … sits just outta range and crows his banty-lungs out just cause he knows it ruffles my feathers after a non-stop session during a smoke-break on the porch.

    On the other hand , his momma may have caved in to the neighbor’s peacock …. cause he thinks he’s the baddest thing on the farm… He’ll attack when you turn your back , spurring the back of your leg when you least expect it.. he’s a chicken , on yeah he really is a chicken !

    I know he’s tuff cause he’s one of about twenty-five chicks to weather the snakes and bob-cats all the way through his adolescent life.. He’s the sole survivor from five years of dedicated production… 

   I never connected on thirty attempts to stifle his incessant crowing with a chunked plank , a limb , or bottle or what ever was lying handy, but I finally found the disciplinary tool to silence his exhibition and send him scurrying for the hen-house. 

   Despite his eagle eye and reflexes of a hummingbird , he can’t out run or dodge what he can not see..  The trusty old Ben-Franklin pellet gun puts him on the run …but I can still hear him crowing from the back-side of the chicken house..

   I would eat him for Sunday Dinner but there’s not enough there for a decent meal …. maybe he can flavor some corn-bread dressing come Thanksgiving Day… I’ll bet he taste like vinegar !

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Oilfield trash …

  Some consider the up-tic in Montague County oil activity to be a nuisance , but personally , I think this production  moment captured at Ruby #1 over the week-end is closer to my heart than a family portrait… Tommy O’Neal !

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 Fidel Castro has been peek-ed for several years , Hugo Chavez has been battling cancer as of late , now Gaddafi has been overwhelmed with a terminal case of Rabbit Fever.. seems the immune system of tyrant dictators is inversely proportionate to their level of ruthless behavior.  go figure !

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Hype 101 …

 Irene was a category 3 revelation in hurricane journalism for me .. I learned a ton of valuable information in the last two days while glued to repetitious reports on various channels. I watched that life-guard shack in North Carolina crash the sea-wall fifteen times at least.

  First a convincing wardrobe is a prerequisite to affective journalism.. A light-weight but colorful wind-breaker and rubber boots seemed to be the standard for network news reporters. 

     By all means , before going on camera , find a water-hole and wade off into it while leaning conspicuously into the wind. The higher the water rises on your rubber boots , and the more flapping of the hooded wind-breaker , the more affective the perception of peril is conveyed.

   Stand dangerously close to the rising tide and speak often of the fool-hearted civilians passing by you , as only you are truly the invincible one. Those naive malingerers that refuse to leave their property despite demands from high-ranking politicians.  If conditions where you are remain unimpressive , warn of deteriorating conditions just south of your location.

  All in all , Irene failed to meet expectations , unless of course you happen to live on the sea-wall somewhere between the Carolina’s and Maine .  In which case , it was a bad hombre !

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