Starving Marvin…

Fifty years of memories involving Marvin Thomas .. my old friend ….passed on to Glory last month..

here’s a few that stand out in my mind as Golden…. beginning in the seventies , when Marvin was among the guys I religiously drank coffee with at Hutson’s Café in Bowie…. everyone had a boat and a driving desire to fish …. Pug Smith , Red Killen , Starvin Marvin , all had Newman Boats and fished weekly for Strippers on Lake Texoma … I had a Kingfisher boat and 35 horse Mercury , didn’t dare venture onto Texoma with that vessel ..

Marvin offered to take me on a real adventure … chasing the birds on Texoma , draggin in lunkers never before seen by this country boy…. he briefly schooled me on the technique required to land the reluctant lunker…. disregarding the fact I owned a Zebco 33 filled with 10 lb test line… Long story short.. I totally wrecked my 33 that day … scrap-iron… unsalvageable …

Then there was the adventure of Dove Hunting with the sports professionals from Petro-Lewis.. Jerry Rushing, Fred Allen, and Starving Marvin .. on the Lemons spread northwest of Ring-gold ..

We all assumed a spot behind a Mesquite bush surrounding a 5 acre patch of Dove weed….. sipping on tepid beer , awaiting the mass migration.. here the come boys , Lock and Load… the shooting began on the north end .. Jerry and I sat in the south… By the time they got to us they were flying 75 mph just three feet off the ground.. Rushing picked one.. followed him as he flew directly between us.. then instantaneously blew ever last leaf off the bush I was sitting behind… I got one pellet right between the eyes .. blood flew , but I survived another successful day of adventure with Starving Marvin… subsequent feast at Fred and Beverly house in downtown Ring-Gold Texas.. I ate the bacon , Freds birddog got the dove…

We were all charter members of the Bowie Bass Club… along with Snake Allen and various other sportsmen of questionable character….. again my Kingfisher failed to measure up… tournaments are all about the launch… they each had 125 horse fire-breathing monsters strapped to transom …. needless to say , my 12 volt sump pump could not pump the rooster tails left by the pro’s… David’s eyes were big as a half-dollar … Bail Boy Bail ..I yelled as they faded across the lake..

I could go on for days about stories of Linton Campbell , Red Killen and Starvin Marvin…. Jerry Rushing , Pug Smith .. I dearly love those guys to this very day .. though few are left to prick .. the others are chumming the waters of the Jordan , for signs of bigger fish to fry…

Hey Marvin…Hold my spot in the boat , til I get there….. You’ll need help feeding 5,000 …

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Vehicular Evolution …WIDE LOAD ..

Ever notice how vehicles and people have continually gotten larger over the years….. while parking spaces have grown progressively smaller thru the same time frame ?…. ED noticed….. he couldn’t access his broad ass thru the narrow opening this morning at the “Hog Trough” Parking Facility …

reality was rude in retrospect ….

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Ranch Report..

As a follow-up to the preceding blog about Ed driving the ranch truck …

Bub warned him several times about the height of the headache rack on the farm truck exceeding the clearance capabilities of Ed’s carport…. but who knows if Ed ever heard him or not … now there’s the dogs permanent tooth impression on the dash… where forward progress came to an abrupt halt when the rack hooked the rafters …..  the headache rack is certainly more aerodynamic now … laid back like Buddy Dog’s teeth …. once again , Ed’s hearing handicap was totally unaffected by it all..

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Common Bred Dog…

Either way you read it , it all means the same … Ed’s Driver…. Driver’s Ed … it all boils down to Ben Dover needs help steering this rig…

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Song-Bird Seniors in Flight

After eating a Boat-Load of dressing and such , I was asked to accompany these vocal Ladies in a tribute to Flight .. truth is , I was way too full to fly…. but honored to try..

Last night’s command performance @ Montague County Cowboy Church complete with a plethora of guitars , a banjo and up-right base…. what a debut for Carter-Man !!!   singing ” I’ll Fly Away ”

I was pleased that NO tomatoes were thrown and Mosh-Pit activity was banned from the concert … What fun it was.. singing with such talent beside me and behind me.. we NAILED it ..and no-one got hurt.. Ed never heard a thing …

 

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Democratic Decline..

I’ll not spend valuable words reviewing Ben’s driving history of near misses and incidental whiskey dents incurred over recent months and years… attacks by Mexican welding trucks , gate-posts , mailboxes and other objects …. both movable and immovable ..

Suffice it to say innumerable words have already fell on deaf ears .. words of concern including words from the Corporate CEO , Accident Investigators ,  Insurance Adjusters , and Texas DPS..

As a direct result of afore mentioned cautionary details,  and Ben Dover’s unwillingness to adhere to foreign ideas of Safety .. even the threat of grounding his mobility , has failed to alter his behavior ..

Therefore…  Lean Dover had no choice but to preserve his own financial interest in Cost’em Water Company LLC… by relinquishing Ben’s right to drive the company truck..2019 Silverado..

Lean commandeered Ben’s wheels .. confiscated  the new Silverado with all the add-on conveniences.. Blue Tooth communication ..  satellite radio .. back up cameras.. electric windows , and other luxuries never found in older models .. in-cab dog kennel.. remote start ..etc

Ben Dover has recently been seen … haphazardly parked astride permit parking zones in front of the Ultimate Store…. driving Lean’s elderly work truck .. complete with hay-spike , cube-dispenser , headache rack , and Bull-Catcher heavy duty grille ..

 

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Montague Memory…

If you ever ate here , chances are you no longer have a full set of teeth .. 1955

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Home on the Range…

It might first appear I was taking a whiz in the water trough…… when actually I am watering the vast herd of Longhorns encamped on my spread … thru Ed’s metered source beneath the ranch..

I pay little attention to the cattle-market prices , but chose instead to keep both eyes on Ed’s water meter , while watching for updates on his escalating rate increases…. Steve is subject to inject the herd and their cattle-barren owner in one fell swoop …. driving profit margins into bankruptcy court..

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Italian Slip N’ Slide….

Seasonal Entertainment took priority over cautious intervention early this week , as high humidity and freezing temperatures created a thin invisible film of ice on the Elevated ramp at Ben Dover’s skinning room Office ..

Mid-morning…. Ed announced his departure from the Tsunami of disgruntled customers , for the serenity of the Ultimate coffee shop.. .. His multi-tasking secretary warned of hazardous ice on the wheel-chair ramp as he exited the warm confines of Cost’em Water Company…

Keep in mind…. Ed can’t hear a Burlington Northern as it leaves the tracks…..

He smiled at Jamie as though he heard every word , then stepped onto the frozen ramp for immediate catastrophic ride down the slide to her parked car , sitting broadside across the other end…

Schlitterbahn has never delivered the adrenalin surge Ben experienced at that time… flat of his back … head first under the Escalade he went.. skin and blood flew … wedged like a Ferrell hog beneath the drivers door… similar to the infamous Shoot-Out of Forestburg… where winch assistance was required to retrieve Deputy Herman from his Safe-Space when the shooting stopped…

Ed’s favorite cap now has blood stains on the bill , to commemorate the occasion .. battle scars mar the cheekbone where the ride eventually concluded …

Fire-Chief “Kerry ” was summoned with the “Jaws of Life”…. to free Ed’s careful inspection of the Catalytic Converter beneath Ulbigger’s new Escalade ….  his inoperable eardrums apparently unaffected by his fall.. he still can’t hear himself fart ..

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On the Road Again…..

Jerry Springer is out there on the Campaign Trail again… in the poor-man’s Prevost .. rubbing elbows with the common-folk , kissing babies , and making impossible promises to his German constituents ..

Unlike his predecessor Uncle Tony , he has no peaches or pecans to buy your vote …. but he did help Ed get his water-rate increase…. or was that Steve ?

I approve this message …..

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