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Archive for July, 2009

appetite anxiety

  the  anxiety created by the approaching wild-fire brisket cook-off has worked ed into a frenzy….. his cooking talent reputation is on the line from years past when he bribed the judges to declare his bar-b-que the champion… showmanship is a given at ed’s cook-site … like foster brooks cooking supper at the family reunion….

  he’s already put his cook-trailer in the detail shop…. packing the wheel bearings on his spit…. sandblasting grease and rust from the long idle cutting surface… and applying a liberal coat of stove-black paint… appearance is everything for the italian gourmet cook … preparation and presentation are his standard…. he’s already began polishing his cooking skills , preparing exotic italian dishes from mel-the-smell’s produce and blackened meat sections….

      fair warning to the saturday morning breakfast crowd…. his creative mind has concocted a special menu for tomorrows eye-poping breakfast… fried hominy and jalapeno omlets garnished with a savory cream sauce….  gag !…. he’s been watching julia chiles again , might be a good day to hit mc donald’s drive-thru…

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political promise

  obama promised change and he’s adequately delivered in north texas….. ordinarily in july and august the temperature is unbearable and we are weeks or months into a relentless drought….. not the case in obama’s first year in office… it’s rained every day for the last four days… some days temperatures peak in the high eighties…lawns and pastures are an unfamiliar shade of green … lawnmower sounds dominate the evening hours as we battle for the manicured appearance of early spring….

   if i had any idea that barry  could control the weather , maybe i would have voted democratic in the last election… i was operating under the assumption that God and al-gore had control of the o-zone and el-neenyo …

   summer afternoon’s once spent sippin on lemon water on the patio , are now consumed with endless laps on the lawnmower…. adapting to the bi-partisan change that president obama has surely brought to the lifetime tradition of stifling heat and parched earth in a montague county summer….

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traumatized travelers

  got a dust covered call from the motorized nomad on tuesday… he was stranded in moab utah… by hurricane force winds and blinding dirt… the highly polished honda has lost it’s luster… parked beside a reservation convenience store to gain shelter from being sand blasted…the indians are friendly , but their habitat is unforgiving…

    the dream has turned ugly for rocket and the red-head.. power outage at the only refuge within miles…dirt-drifts and high winds prohibit farther travel towards the west coast and san diago … temperatures hover at one twenty……this leg of the journey was not what he had envisioned , comparable to anything ever witnessed in bagdad…

    i tried to comfort him by reporting the unseasonable cool days , lush lawns and unexpected rain-fall that is currently unfolding in montague county… but found myself talking to self…… either we lost contact due to the hell-hole conditions he was standing in , or he simply hung up thinking   ”  whoever thought i’d get homesick for montague county ” while touring the world with a red-head on a honda….

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what’s the score ?

  montague school system is currently under-going a complete renovation of the ivy halls where chipper and sereita first studied anatomy 101 … sharing a national geographic from the school library…

  included in the renovation is the gymnasium where the carter boys dominated the likes of  “double dribble”  tucker from prarie valley…. the very same bench where uncle melvin conducted his half-time  motivational speeches, also referred to as corporal threats .. the sweat soaked hardwood slats where lynn & glynn hogged the ball .  where chipper first flexed his masculine six-pac … where the handcock boys gave lessons in intimidation… albert mullins , red hardison , hayden fatheree , charles fenotee , scooter adkins…all-star players yet undiscovered… all wearing the proud white and blue of the montague eagles….amazingly none of these talented guys are playing in the n.b.a. today , guess they’re all too old !

   many good teams have come and gone since those memorable days…. but the old gym was starting to look  like the inside of charlie dixon’s locker… needing attention….and a stick-up…

  thankfully the dedicated school-board members voted to administer a face-lift…for the invaluable memories still deeply embedded in the oak plank floors… when all was completed only the antiquated score-board tarnished the luster on the new gym…

   so like any traditional school-board member worth their weight , these  administrators thoughts turned to donations.. they approached hoot for a charitable , deductible donation from the largest bank in the area….but due to the current economy , his minimal time as branch manager , and inherent fear of mickey  , hoot failed to fire for the entire 10,000.oo needed for the new scoreboard..   instead he offered half , provided they could find a contributor for the other five thousand….

  school board member brady o’neal said … that’ll be easy enough…. tom’s good for five thousand on a moments notice…his monthly bar tab runs more than that…. he’s easily got as many assets as the big bank and not nearly as close …. no board meeting needed… just cut the check !

  that’s how it happened at uncle melvin’s school… where him and wad walker meticulously kept score on  the sideline bench…. now the latest electronic score-board publicly displays the round-ball ass-whoopins that used to go almost un-noticed !…………. special thanks to the not-so-big bank and tommy o’neal !

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    just who is the auburn haired damsel that is sharing a two-man tent with mrs. whaley’s baby boy ? …inquiring minds have fathered several curious e-mails directed to the uninformed perpetrator of this clueless blog….

   truth is…. i have no earthly idea… some leather garnished biker chick from the rocket’s perverted past ? …some mass transit groupie from houston’s south side ?… some lonesome nature freak from a timber-line bar in the rockies ?  ….perhaps a misguided therapists from a previous rehab institution…you decide !

   all that really matters is even if she’s not mrs. right , she’s mrs. right now…. and tettelton’s a euforic transient biker…committed to the dream created in the driver’s seat of a houston mass transit bus…and committed to the even tempered woman that presently shares that dream come true….  see the bug-stains on his highly contagious smile ? … he’s lovin it ! thanks , at least in part to the  mysterious red-head !

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mad or nomad ?

 this picture was taken by tettelton’s great great grandpaw  at the origional colorado  rally in 1909 …                                                                                                                                                      pack_mule[1]IMG00075        

this photo was taken one-hundred years later by teetelton at the very same event… note the strikingly similar nomadic traveling techniques… it’s obviously inherited genetics…

  no jack-ass jokes please !

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  as an added convenience to the loyal readers of montague moments , i’ve added the montague wild-fire bar-b-que link to my blogroll on the right hand column of the moments home page… just click on wild-fire to get signed up , before all the good shade trees are gone…this is the premiere event in montague county…. for cookers , musicians ,and spectators alike…mark your calander for the week-end of august twenty ninth… if you miss it , you’ll most likely NEVER  fully recover ….

   it’s a pristine opportunity to have a marvelous week-end and support the courageous and worthy montague volunteer fire department , simultaneously.. bring the wife , bring the kids , and bring some chairs… you won’t be sorry !…… click on it !

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