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Archive for January, 2009

milestone michael

  i was delighted to hear that the republican national convention has selected michael steele to head-up their rebirth of conservatism… he’s the past lieutenant governor of maryland , an out-spoken conservative , and well educated… articulate and knowledgeable..the first black to head the republican party…he’s a compliment to the conservative agenda and a great pick !

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  it’s deathly quiet here at the chicken ranch this morning… only the garbled sound from the coffee perking breaks the early silence…

   the carnival cruise crew is gone… no breakfast at ed’s… no seven a.m. conversations…. just silence , that is til the phone rang , alerting the dogs and destroying my solitude…

   it was ed , calling from d.f.w…. waiting to board an early flight to san diago the crew fell victim to enhanced security…the first in surely a series of pit-falls awaiting the red-neck tourist cartel .

   two shirts failed to leave his uncle henry pocket knife at home…set off bells and whistles thru the metal detector…security swooped in , had him standing spread eagle with hands over his head… then escorted him to a side room for further interrogation…

   suspicious of the weapon , and the unusual , unpronounceable name… fenoglio ?  is that arabic? or some impromptu alias ?security was giving him what for… lengthy lecture and public humiliation…

   at last word , two shirts was undergoing a strip-search , and the rest of the party was watching the show…for twenty five bucks , he can mail the knife home or throw it in the contra-ban trash can… but he ain’t taking it to san diago or the panama….

  and i stand corrected on big-O’s choice of luggage… it was a braum’s sack , filled half way with hundred dollar bills then his tooth brush and two pairs of clean drawers on top ….according to the team captain… my heartfelt apologies to wal-mart !

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sunday school lesson

  listen up sports fans…..i’m here offering free advise on sunday’s super-bowl outcome…

    put your earnings on kurt warner and the arizona cardinals… they’ll administer a paralizing offensive assault that the steelers have not yet experienced….

    warner is quick to throw a pass , and equally as quick to give God the credit… like archie bunker read in the good book that  time… if God is for you , who can be against you ?   warner believes it , he lives it…this time next year , he’ll be wearing a super-bowl ring and you can be wearing a rolex if you place the right wager…

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fish or cut bait

   today’s the big day… all the socially elite of the county board the ship for central america… panama canal and hugo chavez further south…

   big O spent the better part of thursday packing his luggage… a used wal-mart sac containing a tooth-brush and two clean sets of drawers… they’re only gonna be gone two weeks… the priority items on big 0’s check list are lonita’s master card , her visa card , and the platinum legend-bank card…

   he can buy clean clothes in most any port .. at the tall and stout south american outlet mall…disposable cameras from a cruise-line gobble shop should be sufficient to record ed’s inebriated corpse laying face down on the sands of south america…

  food and drink on two-shirt’s tab… dinning at the captain’s table… ball room dancing til dawn , big O’s a regular pasture jack when he clears port..

    his boyish smile … that texas drawl.. short pants and deep pockets give this hometown cattle baron a distinct advantage with the big city girls on the high seas…. like that big buxom blond on the last cruise to alaska… she had a special way of saying  ” oh big Oooooooo !” every time he’d grin..

  lonita never even looked up from her ace-high hand… no need for a short leash on an old lap-dog… his bark is much worse than the bite and he’s too old to jump the fence !… just enjoys chasing the cars for a short while , then returns to the porch with his tail draggin….

   he’d be better served , taking a zebco 33 and some cuban cigars…. fishing off the back of the boat next to ed’s budget basement room…at least that way he’d stand a chance in hell of landing a catch , and returning home alive !

    on the other hand , he could purchase a lot filled with four-weight south american corinthie doogies or shoe polish blacks , smuggle them onboard , deep in the bowels of the ship…next to ed’s room , for return passage to the finishing lots of ogle cattle company…write the whole trip off as a business excursion….

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three’s company

   i’m thinking rod blagojevich and sheriff keating have several personality traits in common… both were overwhelmed with their own importance… greed for power and recognition weighed heavy on their official decisions… both considered themselves above the office for which they were elected , and excused their unethical behavior as a perk for their elevated position..

    similar to their thirst for power was the aspirations of berny madoff … his self serving ambition had no regard for anything other than fame and financial status…stepping on the lives of others in an effort to reach the top was merely unavoidable collateral damage in his self glorified mind..

 “the end justifies the means ” surely must have been the moto for each of these misguided individuals.. no-one is more important than me , and i’m justified in using what ever method is at my disposal to reach my self serving goal…. i’m entitled !

   greed seems to drive the engine for a lot of american businessmen and politicians today…. it’s the landmark for the new millennium.. i’ll get richer than you at any cost and eventually you’ll respect me for the power i have rather than the person i am…

   money begets artificial respect , temporary recognition , localized fame ,  undeserved privilege , and eventually more money…in todays america…

    we’re a society obsessed with finances rather than morality..status takes priority over honesty…position surpasses productive labor…clean hands are valued above a clean heart.. and location of one’s house outweighs the quality of the home…

   misplaced values and obsessive  ambition have brought destruction rather than admiration to all the above.. fame and name recognition for all the wrong reasons … what a waste !

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coherent comment

  what an intellectual comment from the houstonian bus driver… he must spend his evenings reading the latest issue of the montague county shopper…and polishing his 38…. his comment was equally as lengthy as any chipper ever posted , but uncharacteristic to chipper , it actually had a story-line.. a beginning and an end… conveyed a thought process…a continual series of words that flowed into a verbal picture that was interesting to read….i’m thinking this guy could have been the valdictorian in ed’s class of sixty five…

   i guess you could say he’s raised the comment bar for the likes of chipper and tommy o’neal … given them a standard to shoot for rather than incessant gibberish..and incoherent rambling… actually arrange a sentence or group of words that projected a message or thought process..

   he’s pretty smart for a getto bus driver , even on occasion approached the elevated intellectual level of the other south texas reader , general patton….

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rambling randy

  got an e-mail from the getto bus driver down in houston… teatleton said he was planning a fishing trip to bull shoals soon as he gets all those gars delivered to the south side…

   he’s a fly fisherman , in a section of town where carp is considered a delicacy… far from the pristine scenery of a mountain stream and the solitude of a lonely campfire reflecting on crystal water…. most of the water he currently sees is polluted with cadavers and the fires are the result of arson…no crickets cherping in the night , just the screams of sirens in the distance….

   the getto driver longs for peaceful memories of his innocent  youth , in nocona texas , hanging out with ed and chipper , but has one more year on a twenty year sentence , driving the big city bus through down-town houston… then he’s coming home to live in seclusion , down a dead end road , where no man ever comes without just cause…on a place that ed sold him at cost…plus twenty percent…

  he’s out of his element in the city…. montague county raised but forced to hauling passengers for the city of houston by a childhood addiction…called ( eating lunch)… mrs. whaley’s prodigal son is coming home soon ! …we’ll kill the fated calf !…buy some stink-bait and go fishing …drink some of ed’s rollers….

    forget bull-shoals… the crappie are biting out at the state park !

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