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A gaggle of drunken Germans are prime suspects in a recent robbery that took place in broad daylight at Doc’s Bar and Pastry Emporium in Muenster….

The confusion began when Ben Dover ordered a cake and requested the square barmaid cut the cake into four equal parts… to place in 4 separate sacks….to expedite the transport of Italian Cream cake across county lines into Montague County… where Italians reign supreme..

Unexpectedly…. temptation overcame a staunch Catholic square patron sitting next to us….he discounted the Ten Commandments in favor of immediate gratification… light-fingered one sack of the cake… one-quarter of our cake and all of our dignity gone… shuttled beneath the table for future consumption by numerous starving squares… when gullible Garlic-shuckers depart the scene.

Faint sounds of familiar laughter could be heard from the traffic light at Hwy 82 as we drove away…..Them dastardly squares have skinned the Italians again…

Man this ^^%^*** is getting old… They stole our cake and now they’re eating it too…

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Pants on Fire..

Today President Trump plans to announce the winner of the coveted ” Fake News ” award for 2017…

Many main stream journalist , including myself , are sitting on the edge of their seats…

My in-depth reporting on Roll Dover and the recent ice-storm debacle north of Muenster , could catapult me into the National spotlight…or at the very least , into an anchor seat on CNN…

My policy of mixing fact with fiction has mirrored the decade-long policies of Liberal news outlets across America…sprinkle just enough facts throughout the report to make it plausible…. then “lie like a cheap rug” to attain the pre-conceived agenda that best suits the desired political outcome…

Understandably , I’m as nervous as that lady in Church…the one wearing fish-net stockings on the back row… I could end up seated between Anderson Cooper and Shepard Smith…. looking straight ahead… rigid sphincter drawn… waiting for POTUS to reveal the lyingest scoundrel in America today…

Wish me luck…..aka Prater’s Poison Pen…

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Spent an hour or so with the popular square at Baylor Plano today…room 516..  I’m glad to report progress is being made as we speak…. Herky’s kidneys are working better than yesterday, his surgical wounds are starting to heal , his confused state resulting from anesthesia is somewhat improved , following his life-threatening heart valve surgery on Tuesday..

IMG_0590 Herk

Join me in earnest prayer for our dear friend and his family… Mil has gone without sleep or genuine meals or time of peace and comfort for quiet some number of days… By the grace of God this too shall pass…

Shower God’s throne with your concerns for him , and praise the Biblical assurance that God alone holds control over David’s prognosis for complete recovery and restoration..

Note to the observant….that small bottle in the foreground is NOT hospital issue , in fact a disciplined nurse told Ed…. get that stuff outta here….

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Takin Bacon…

Here’s how it all went down……Ed and I were on our way to church Sunday morning…sloping along Hwy 175 north towards Nocona.. discussing the frequency with which we see wild hogs along the stretch near Ray Walker Memorial Air Port…

Upon topping the rise in the blacktop , suddenly I spot a large boar hog standing motionless on the shoulder up ahead…….. There he is Ed , I shouted… time to ventilate that porker…

Ed slowed to a stop.. retrieved his trusty 22 with a thirty round clip…and commenced to distribute copious amounts of hot lead in Porky’s direction…

following a ten round sequence , I interrupted the volley .. I think you hit him Ed.. looks like a head-shot … I see something red on the east end…probably blood..

Further investigation revealed Ed had just killed a forty gallon black plastic trash bag , with red draw-strings , filled with house-hold garbage…

Nice shoot’in Ed.. he never knew what hit him, now let’s get the hell outta here before someone witnesses this double-blind fiasco….

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Tech Support…

Note to all correspondents both foreign and domestic…..my E-mail is up and running once again…following a lethal hack several months ago…

My current address is…..Shortfellow@outlook.com  ….Please send all inflammatory information and high-resolution photos incriminating your neighbors and ethnic rivals(Squares and Dagos) to the afore mentioned address… for discretionary posting on the blog.. please refrain from sending nudity or profanity , in the interest of good-taste and my failing heart condition..

 

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4 C’s Fencing Crew

thumbnail_IMG_1008  All hands on deck …for strengthening the steel barrier around the ranch…immigration of wild hogs has diminished considerably since installation of “The Wall ”

Yep , them’s all Carters…L to R… David , Justin , Trigger, and the Old Man..

 

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Landslide Lyndon….

Coup d’etat….. a sudden violent attempted seizure of political power….at least that’s how it happened last night at the called meeting of MVFD…

Progressive thinkers took at shot over the bow of Unit 5101…in a failed attempt to rid the department of fossilized fire fighters…( moss backs ).  Experience prevailed…21 to 0..after a record turn-out of inactive members and distant cousins…

I didn’t realize a volunteer could be ousted….but apparently they can…

Much like the current situation in Iran , the natives have grown restless.. ready for regime change…ready for younger blood… and a younger approach to protecting life and property..  at the cost of superficial injury to the established dictatorship..

Rebellious volunteers have been silenced temporarily…. unit 5101 will retain all power and authority vested in him by the billfold badge…  Chief of MVFD…..returning proper respect and preferential parking privileges at AT&T Stadium….until further notice..

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