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Archive for March, 2010

crime-stopper

  Herminator is currently investigating an alledged armed-robery attempt at the ultimate store last Sunday… some nameless customer , of previous preferred customer status ,  used strange and unusual verbage while conducting his legitimate purchase … the nervous clerk responded with a cry of ” WOLF ” to local authorities… She mistook the local excentric as mentally deranged serial killer , whistled in the long arm of the law to establish some state of sanity and restraint ….

  Turned out to be a platinum-card customer … routinely making his one-quart purchase of gasoline in a plastic water-bottle … is not actually a reclusive ax-murdered as originally suspicioned… all charges were dropped except for the three-dollar charge for a canned-coke …

   You can readily see where the Ultimate-store would be a prime destination for armed-robbers….The digital fuel-price display would indicate a large sum of money on hand … further price-checks inside the store would lead the average crook to believe the daily receipts must be staggering…. more cash than the Chase-Manhattan … over-sized bearings on the register-drawers ….

    Tom’s fifteen security camera locations captured the entire event…and after several reviews of the canned-coke transaction the deputies line of questioning changed…. The deputy faced Tom and asked …..I’m confused , exactly Who’s trying to rob Whom …..??

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  •  You high-dollar harley boy’s think those multi-colored tri-cycles are cool…. just wait til i unload my new scooter at the Turkey Down-Town parade on Saturday morning…..all leathered up with a  doo-rag and shades…..160 cc’s of raw horsepower…custom built wheel-standin powerhouse from Harley-Hell…..chrome DOES make it go … Rags to Riches Renovation by my son… Big Dog Dave… (a.k.a. #2 ) from Granny’s credit-card and a 60’s era burned-out shell from behind my shop.. leaned against a tree for eight years…. dangerously parade-ready …  Let’s RIDE…!                                                                                                        Sponsored by…..Hamilton’s Last-Chance Insurance Co.  and White Family Funeral Home..   Bowie Texas

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Montague mail

Larry,
 
Here is an email I sent out to a lot of the people I deal with here at Nocona Athletic Goods.  Could you please forward it to some of your readers.  Again, thanks for all your help and support.
 
Best.
 
Randy Murphey
Nocona Athletic Goods
 

From: Randy Murphey
Sent: Mon 3/29/2010 3:11
Dear Friends and Colleagues,
 
A close friend, Ronnie Fergason, has recently been diagnosed with advanced stage testicular cancer.  As a result on the downturn in the economy Ronnie recently lost his job of over 10 years.  Fortunately he has been able to keep his health insurance.  Ronnie and his wife Amber have two small children, Brittan(3) and Collin(1 1/2).  Brittan was born with a serious birth defect that has required many surgeries and she was scheduled for more surgery when Ronnie received his diagnosis and her surgery has been put off until Ronnie can start treatment.  Ronnie will require an aggressive form of chemotherapy that will require him to stay in the hospital for a week at a time.  Ronnie and his family are in serious need of financial assistance to help with their mounting medical expenses. 
 
I am writing to ask you for assistance.  I am asking for donations of your old samples, close outs or anything that you can spare to be raffled or auctioned off with all proceeds going to this deserving family.  I would also ask that everyone say a prayer for Ronnie and his family.  If you have any questions please give me a call at 940-825-3326, 940-783-2977 or email me at randy@nokona.com.
 
I would like to thank everyone in advance for their generosity.
 
Best Regards.
 
Randy Murphey
Nocona Athletic Goods

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Sunshine Sunday…

   Today’s return trip from Nocona found the share-croppers lunch ready for soppin…. Ham-hock and red beans… steamin hot corn-bread in a cast-iron skillet… brown rice and ground-round….poor-man’s anastisia…power-nap recovery …

  After regaining conscientiousness some thirty minutes later , I awoke to the familiar crack of the aluminum bat…  ( college baseball )…Texas-Tech Red Raiders were hosting the Longhorns on Fox t.v…..  Bowie’s own , Brandon Workman on the mound for Texas….. ( Heath Taylor’s old  Jack-Rabbit team-mate from high-school )……and as cordially gracious host the Raiders allowed Texas to score first , and second , and third , then forth… 7th inning score 13-4… another good outing for Brandon …He left in the sixth after a line-drive shot hit his pitching hand in the fifth…. He continued to pitch after being hit , so i assume it was only a surface injury producing some blood…

 Krum texas nuther brother showed up just as my afternoon coffee finished the perk….and we drifted off to the porch-swing leaving the Longhorns to their own resources… He was duly impressed with my free-range herd of feather-legged chickens..how they joined us on the porch with unbridled curiosity for the rank stranger invading our space….  tilted their heads ten degrees off plum while looking him up and down …. what an odd sight he must be to them , their first close-range encounter with a card-carrying-city-slicker… encroachment by this urban row-tennant dweller could throw them off their fodder…resulting in production restraints…

   I can only hope the metro-plex dry-cleaner never makes an unannounced Sunday visit… His heavy starched crease and detailed B.M.W. could shock them into unseasonable molt .

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Eat Toast….

 The first annual Smoke-Free Moocher’s Breakfast went off without a hitch… i deliberately slept late to enhance Chipper’s chances of a pleasant experience while mooching his morning meal… all for nought… the smoke-intolerant welfare moocher no-showed …did’nt call or text… just failed to show up… must have been his turn to furnish the biscuits … those Sure-Fine cat-head’s from mel-the-smell’s ….two can’s for a dollar with mail-in rebate … MAN he’s consistently, irreversibly , everlastingly cheap !

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 For any who may have failed to get the news… another local family needs a P.U.S.H… that’s  (Pray Until Something Happens ) …Complete details are available at Randy Murphy’s comment on the previous blog…. ” Obvious Origin “..posted March 26 2010… God bless !

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Obvious Origin

   For quiet some time I’ve considered the possibility of Joe Biden’s ancestral roots tracing back to Montague County… could he be an off-shoot from some undisclosed yellow-dog Democrat in Precinct 3 ?…. consider the repeated verbal blunders and his good’ol boy mentality… numerous times he has inserted his political foot on national t.v…. giving condolences to a congressman’s dead mother while she still lives … that embarrassing snafu ranks low on his inflicted offence record…

   His latest and possibly most flagrant infraction coming just this last week….. He spontaneously dropped the F-bomb in Obama’s left ear during a formal introduction….in front of the whole ha-hirah delegation…over a nationally broadcast microphone … Don’t tell me his grandpaw never bought a bill of groceries at Joe-Cob’s ….  Biden’s culturally diverse roots are showing … He”s obviously spent time in Montague…. in fact , i overheard that same exact sentence from the snuff-stained lips of a dust-covered pea-nut farmer back in fifty-eight.. when Earl rolled out his first Montague Fire-truck …. …  I distinctly heard some sod-buster say  ( This is a BIG * (____) Deal ! )

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