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September 14 , 2017

Today marks two months since Carolyn peacefully passed from our midst as our children and myself desperately held on to her.. Time has stood still for all of us since that fateful night… Her body has long been laid to rest while her spirit lives on in the presence of our Redeemer….

Our grief surges to the surface with fond memories and disbelief of our new reality…. then wanes briefly as the tasks of life demand our attention.. only to surface later in the silence of dusky evenings with more magnified intensity..

Her struggle with Cancer was long and unrelenting…Our love for her grew in proportion to her will to live coexisting simultaneously with her desire to die with strength and honor..

Times of deep sorrow are shattered by my reflection of various times when spontaneous laughter burst unexpectedly from her bedroom , even after she was confined to her bed , she chose to laugh rather than cry… her t.v. beamed 16 hours a day.

Though seldom shared with casual friends or strangers , she loved to laugh ….. her child-like laughter was genuine…it was contagious…even to the point of breathless giggles.. I miss laughing with her laughter…it brought me great joy..

I write this not to interest or intrigue you about our lives together , but to relieve the pain and sorrow that wells up within me…I love loving her.. even from a thousand light-years away , she’s still my inspiration and my purpose for living…

God said: Men love your wives, even as Christ loves the Church.. ( Christ died for his bride , the Church )… should I love her any less ?

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Senator Rand Paul has now refered all future lawn care to the professionals at Gro Pro… Super Meg is more experienced and better built for a Bull Rush from violent Democrat neighbors..

Jamba”Lie”

Tom called just prior to lunch…

Hey Carter , free feed at Dickey Pagel’s Lumber Yard today , in Muenster… Ed and I’ll be by to pick you up in a few minutes…get your feed-bag on…  I saw it in the Muenster paper , plus…Pagel sent me an e-mail inviting us….

Here we go….off to another Square luncheon…. We arrived at the lumber yard location at 12:15 , no place to park…

It looked like Wal Mart on Black Friday.. Yostein Ford products parked everywhere.. some dually’s pulling fertilizer spreaders , some livestock trailers , some bearing hay-spikes….not a carpenter truck in sight…

we finally found a parking spot next to the dumpster and unloaded…. rounded the east corner of the building to a startling sight… It looked like the Midway at the State Fair… Wall to Wall Squares standing around 4×8 sheets of plywood on saw horses , gorging themselves on Cajun jambalaya…

We hit the Jambalaya Jackpot , or so we thought… then we began to recognize a few of the feasting Squares… There’s Big Bert Square and Alfonzo… laughing like they’d just seen Rodney Dangerfield and Flip Wilson…

Where’s the head of the chow-line guys…?

There is no chow line left… Pagel’s already run out of food…

Are you *!*&%%^ing me ? No jambalaya !… Them dastardly squares screwed us AGAIN…

What about this discount coupon from the paper ?….  worth 70% off  any purchase up to $70.00..on the 70th anniversary of doing business in Muenster…? what about that?

More bad news… that coupon only applied to Ridgid Pipe Wrenches.. sorry , we’re all sold out of those , but here’s some nice Globe-master wrenches over here at regular price…

Well (**^*(%#).. …..How about a rain-check… or a piece of cake… how about reimbursement for gasoline… how about a free-pass to Rohmers ?  You got Nothin for us hungry Dago’s ???

HOW MANY times can these square heads bait the same trap with empty promises ?…. How many times will the same Dago’s buy in ?

How humiliating…. once again the laughing stock of East Germany….I’m dun running with these Montague County loosers…

 

The story behind the story came to light on page four of the donation list.. item #5032..last evening..

Prime Rib Dinner for 25 people, at Prime Cut Steakhouse of Montague…

The bidding frenzy began at super sonic pace…… normally slow-gated Biffle took the bids, motioning to his left then to his right , quoting figures in 500 dollar increments , to a point well beyond fair market value.. then suddenly the gavel fell for bidder #8..

Who was this mysterious bidder number eight anyway ? was it the auctioneer’s sleight of hand ?…was it a conspiracy  ?….was it magic ? .. was it all an illusion of enormous proportion ?  Where was the infamous bidder number eight …had he sat at the vacant table of the Big Bank Banker ?

No-one knew or understood why a prime rib dinner for 25 people would suddenly fetch $5,000.00 in a lightning fast bidding war…. when just moments earlier a fully dresses Angus beef from Hess Meat Market only brought $3,600.00…

Is bidder 8 actually the rotund auctioneer  ?… or his boss , John Smitz  ?.. or possibly a fraudulent phone-in bid from Tommy O’Neal… The fix is in…. SOLD… to collusion # 8..

Only Paul Harvey knows….and he ain’t talking…

Following a day of outdoor activity on Veterans Day  , including flagpole pageantry and an Antique Car Show in Denton , the apex of my attention turned indoors …. to the annual fund-raising extravaganza of North Central Texas College…. “Friends of Agriculture” steak dinner and subsequent auction , in Gainesville Texas..

Most noticeable among the array of agriculture items donated for auction, was a quartet of juvenile Nubian goats…

As the dinner of Rohmer’s Prized Steaks progressed , momentum surrounding our V.I.P. table turned towards pricking the Shortman about eventual ownership of said goats..

I had my assigned bidding number registered with proper auction staff volunteers.. and had offered a modest bid on several silent auction items scattered about the perimeter of the banquet hall…

Caballero gave the opening prayer…. “Luke the Drifter” delivered his Feed-Lot testimonial …

After gorging himself on chicken-fried steak,, mashed tators, and peach cobbler , the celebrity auctioneer approached his duty station behind the elevated podium..

Like the ringmaster at Barnham and Bailey Circus , Herky Biffle took control of the center ring.. He began to auction off handmade knives, spurs..BBQ pits..Alfalfa hay.. and the like.. bidding was supplemented with generous amounts of complimentary cold-beer and strong drink for the more sophisticated palate… Pastor Caballero worked the floor..

Finally , the donated gaggle of goats entered through a side door… pridefully cradled in the arms of the reluctant donors… displayed to the buzzed bidders for the offering of an opening bid… with the firm understanding that these registered goats were never intended for human consumption….they’re registered breeding goats…family pets..not entree items on a mexican menu…..no mas cabrito…

Immediately , if not sooner ,  Herky pointed me out… calling me by name in front of a hundred fellow bidders.. referring to me as the Montague County Goat Farmer.. pricking me into submission…antagonizing me in a public forum… to separate myself from the conservative bids of my companion , Ben Dover…

Red Faced and unrelenting.. I sat on my hands throughout the humiliating ordeal …without ever making eye contact or even the slightest movement of my bald head..

I aint buyin no freaking Nubian goats..I’m a Bore goat man… I have my standards…

Finally the gavel fell… Sold to some undeserving bidder at a distant table for Three Hundred sheckles….. bidder #25 saved my day.. uhWheee

I knew better than to publicly subject myself to Herky Biffle…let’s get the hell outta here , I need a cigarette..

 

Crime Solved…

Throw back Thursday… I witnessed a true confession last night at Prime-Cut Happy Hour cogitation** side-bar…..concerning a recent case of grand larceny performed in broad daylight at Doc’s Five @ Five in neighboring Muenster..

before a gallery of Italian kin and one poisonous reporter , Tom spoke softly into the chilled glass of Gray Goose and diet tonic… I “did” indeed steal Dry-Hole Doyle’s 175 strength reading glasses on Monday..

When his vision returned to normal , 10 a.m. on Tuesday , Tom realized he’d light-fingered Doyle’s gold-framed reading glasses…. the brand name was clearly German..and the lenses perfectly Square..

Tom was found guilty by a jury of his peers  (Other Dago’s) ……Dry-Hole Doyle totally exonerated …..monetary restitution to follow… case closed ..

**political term learned from Commissioner Bob…

Nothing Obvious Here…

Call it collusion , call it attempted bribery , call it guid pro quo….but the fact remains the local water purveyor made a bold gesture towards the tax appraisal ladies of Montague…

No less than two dozen highly glazed donuts were presented to the office of often avoided tax-referees north of town..

Twenty-four delightful donuts of various flavors and various fillings , with only ONE ulterior motive in mind…. sweeten the annual tax notice.

I’m thinking a full independent investigation should follow….. before the District Attorney and subsequent grand jury receives their three dozen pastries from the brazen sticky-fingered windmill man..