Tom’s slowly recovering from the stem-cell implant on his most prosperous and most prestigious toe.. the big one..
The surgery that was to end all his ambulatory woes , instead rendered him a paraplegic on his right foot… the righteous foot… the Republican stabilizer on his most conservative foot ..
His recovery was supposed to be short-lived… overnight…then he’d be an active prospect for Dancing With The Stars… Sawbones lied..
Instead , he’s been bed ridden (with negative connotations)… restricted to preventive isolation from invasive microbes and debilitating germs…. Nurse Holland now holds the keys to the liquor cabinet…
Originally diagnosed with Hoof and Mouth Disease …. Pathologist however updated his diagnosis to terminal “Foot Rot” coupled with moderate gangrene..
He’s doomed to crutches for the remainder of his pasture-jack life … restricted to chasing geriatric damsels and mid-life cheerleaders along the sidelines of Jerry’s World…. He’s still able to catch most 50-250’s tantalizing the fans with arthric moves in scantily clad sweat pants…but he’ll never again chase the most spirited females….Emerson escaped…
Tom’s prognosis is marginal at best … he’s lowered his sickle… and elevated his foot…He’s destined to culls and factory rejects…. why else would he buy a WW squeese shoot at Heugator’s Auction last week ?
W – W stands for Worlds Worst
Fake news