Dad-gum dogs …

Carolyn’s geriatric Pomeranian took a header off the end of the bed this morning , while settling a sleeping arrangement dispute with Saddie the pint-sized poodle .. Mandy fell three feet to the concrete tile floor.. ( that’s 21 feet in dog measurements ) ….not catastrophic , but it’s dogastrophic !

  She’s now in Doggie E.R. ,  awaiting anesthesia and the vet’s subsequent manuever to put her hip back in place ..then being fitted with stabilizing sling to prevent reoccurrence to the unfortunate injury.   Pain pill prescriptions and return in six weeks for re-evaluation…eeeeeech-e-wawa !

  Carolyn’s seeing hearts … I’m seeing dollar signs .. The cost of this uninsured injury is equivalent to open-heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic …

  There goes ten barrels of oil from Ruby # 1′s  monthly production, and what’s left of the vanishing Blue-Bell ice cream.. 

   I’m busted out worse than Mandy’s hip .. What about some well deserved sympathy for me !   I’ll take two scoops of home-made vanilla and a  ”thank you very much !”….  Let the dog-fight resume !

Dressed Rehearsal ….

  For all those waiting with bated breath for the Third Annual Shriner’s Ball at Daddy Sams on Saturday night , nourishment and pre-condition training for this marathon of alcoholic intake will be served up at Moocher’s Breakfast Sat. morning .. 

 Add some color to your otherwise drab existence , stop by Ed’s for doughty biscuits and red-eye gravy while listening to the pre-game show of outright lies and second-hand prevarication..

Best wishes Barney …

 Young love , first love , filled with deep emotion …. Barney Frank’s decided to make an honest deviate of his long-term Cougar attraction , Jim Read .. These hairy legged perverts will exchange vows of play-like marriage in the near future , as Barney whispers tongue-tied words of moral turpitude in Jimmy’s delicate hair-filled ear..

   Both grooms are expected to wear white flowing gowns and limp wrists , with lace garters and silk unmentionables to the private double ring ceremony at  Jaquee’s Hair Salon and Movie Production Co. of San Fransisco.. Rather than the more traditional wedding march , a soft rendition of “I think I’m dancing with a man ” will play continuously through out the marital fiasco ..

   The bride’s registry will be located on Isle 6 at Tractor Supply, right next to the freakishly perverted wedding gifts and home-cleaning products .

   The gay couple will spend a honey-moon week of intimately wicked and indescribably perverted activity while basking in the privacy of a side-street motel in Via Acuna Mexico ..

    Suffice it to say.. Barney’s frank , and Jim’s ready …

Righteous Ramblers

 The guitar-pickin politician  , Mark Murphey, and his band of accomplished musicians will hold the congregation spell-bound at Montague County Cowboy Church this coming Sunday morning at the 10:30 a.m. worship service ..

  Even if you’re not a cowboy or never owned a horse , you’ll love listening to these talented guys sing spiritual songs of inspiration prior to Pastor Joe Caballero’s devotional message… Be there ! God will richly bless you in both song and message ..

Departure on run-way one , with # 1

  Making memories in Aug. 2006 … Mary and I had just finished a cigarette out behind the hanger..

  ( no smoking on Chipper’s flight )

  Number one took his maiden voyage in a Cessna after Chipper conducted a security check , looking for contraband cigarettes, and conducting his ritual 30 minute flight check before take-off ..

   Ray was always anxious to introduce some willing soul to the sport he dearly loved .. wonder how many took their first flight from Ray Walker International Airport with Chipper at the throttle . I don’t know what fuel cost per gallon , but he burned a bunch just flying his friends around .

   Wish he was still giving rides , so I could once again slam the door and receive a boisterous lecture on proper aviation techniques and uneducated red-necks ..I miss that big-dummie !

all natural breakfast …

 As I was leaving the crib this morning , winding along the curves of our illuminated driveway , I happened upon a tremendous owl in the act of capturing his breakfast.. My headlights startled his homicidal engagement and he took flight with the captor still in grasp..

  The added weight of his prey made flight difficult . He struggled to stay airborne for a few yards before landing again in the middle of the road.. I approached closer in an attempt to identify what varmint was in his grasp ..

  The blinding headlights startled the owl but still failed to adequately illuminate the black victim in his talons . Soon my proximity to the scuffle prompted the owl to release his grasp on whatever … The owl took flight headed north , and much to my surprise , whatever he had chosen for breakfast took flight headed south ..

   I was unable to determine if the victim was a huge crow , a hawk , a buzzard , or perhaps even a turkey.. but whatever it was, was black and rather large , and hell-bent on making an exit in the opposite direction ..

  I still don’t know whose life I saved at five-fifteen , but that’s just one of the things I enjoy about living in the boonies .. You never know what’s gonna happen or what privileged moment of nature you may witness..

Bible Class Family Day …

  Seriously folks … Sunday morning Jan. 29th , is Family Day at Jean’s Bible Class .. Special Music is on the program @ 9:05 ,  by world-renowned vocalists Al McNatt , Christie and Dee of The 3-Bar’s Band !

  All interested parties are cordially invited to share our blessed Sunday service with friends and families of current and past members.. Make this a glorious day for Jean’s Bible Class.. join us and Teacher Tommy Lamascus as we worship and study God’s Holy written word .

   Come early for hot-coffee and warm conversation..

Red neck Rapsody …

 The Melancholy moment that Momma most feared ,

 through sleepless nights of fresh bedside tears.

 The words she most dreaded to reluctantly hear,

 The Lord’s quickly coming cause  ” WalMart’s got beer ..”

 

Shelf after Shelf of the devil’s own brew ,

 Standing like soldiers , just waiting for you !

 With colorful labels disquising what’s true ,

 It’s misery and heartache comes shinning on through ..

 

 Her heartfelt words fell short on deaf ears ,

  as grown Baptist boys rejoiced in good cheer .

They’re manning their trucks from far and from near..

Great day in the morning , now  ” Walmart’s got beer “

Five P’s of productive gardening..

   Time-lapse photography shows Tom’s onion patch after just 24 hours of diligent  prayer from the former Alter-Boy ..

  Prime-Cut customers are on schedule for another complimentary side-dish of bad breath again this Spring .

 

Same ol’ Somali … same result

 Somali batting averages took another sharp decline last night as American Navy Seals dropped from perilous skies … Nine un-named disciples of Islam were spontaneously evicted from the game for unsportsmanlike conduct . These posthumous pillars of the Mooslum community were thrown out while attempting a game-winning slide at home plate..

   Apparently , the inland branch of the Somali extremists have not yet gotten the e-mail memo from the Somali Pirates …the one warning of personalized hot-lead from America’s Navy.

  Oh yeah , I forgot that famous old Somali proverb… Dead Pirates send no mail..